Amber’s Story

Site created on January 9, 2022

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Journal entry by Amber Moore

I never thought that I would be the one to ask for help. Even though every time I turn around I'm asking my mother for something. If it weren't for my mother I don't know where I'd be right now. She's been with me through thick and thin with my addiction and she is worried about me constantly day and night. I wish that I can better myself for her and that's what I'm trying to do. I have a lot of health problems started when I was about 15 years old. I have diabetes, thyroid disease, hyp o tension disorder, and depression. I'm supposed to be on four or five different medications and I have not been on any of them since I was about 18. I lost my Medicaid so I lost my insurance so I could not go to the doctor or get my prescriptions filled. I have stroke level blood pressure that ranges anywhere from 240 over 140 and up. I'm worried about my health but there's really nothing I can do about it except Wonder why me! I'm starting this site to see if I can get help motivation and stories from other people who are like me. For the last year and a half my dog Kimber and I have been living in an abandoned condemned house. There's no heat or electricity or water. The floors and ceilings are falling in and caving in but to other people you know this would be a scary situation. But to Kimber and I it's our home. About 3 months ago somebody came in and told us that we had to leave our home. The house was going to be torn down and we were supposed to vacate the process. 2 days ago I received a certified letter saying that I had 30 days from the date of that note to vacate the premises or I will be filed an action lawsuit against me for living here without them wanting me here them as in the new owners. If I had somewhere to go or a choice to decide where I want to go or where I want to be I would have done gone. My life is the way it is because I choose that life if I want help I'm going to get help. I want my mom to wake up every morning and think that the day is going to get better because Amber wants to get better. I want to make my mom proud I want myself to get better so she can get better. I didn't make this site to make everybody feel sorry for me but right now I don't know where to go or what to do or where to turn to. I need help and guided in the right direction because my life is being difficult to me and I feel like I can't give myself a good excuse to better myself but I can give out good advice to everybody else and make it sound so great yet I can't take my own advice. So please everybody just say a little prayer for me or something and help me I do want to get better I do want to better my life for me and my dog. My dog is my life she is my baby she is my kid and if anything were to happen to her I don't know what I would do she helps me throughout thick and thin just like a partner would. If I'm upset she comes over and lets me know that she's there and that I'm okay and then I'm doing a great job even though you know we have no food or nothing to eat or or cold she lets me know that she's there with me and she does stick it through with me. We've lived in tents before and she was with me the whole time she is my rock solid baby girl if I have to go without her then I don't want to go at all. Please somebody I'm asking for some really good advice which I take advice from everybody yet it doesn't seem to stick and I know that I want to better myself for my mother because she is my life my world and I adore her more than anything and I appreciate everything she does for me and Kimber. I want to better myself for me and for Kimber not just for my mom. I need a little bit of help and motivation to get me started so I can make better decisions which I'm going to do but with a little help I need a roof over my head I need shoes on my feet I need food in my belly and I need my little Kimber next to me. They're trying to take our home from us and we don't have anywhere else to go so where do we go from here please somebody help I'm crying out and on my knees begging for some kind of answer thank you so much
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