Kolina’s Story

Site created on January 30, 2019

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Newest Update

Journal entry by Kolina Johnson

Strike One
Let's kick it back to 2000, I was 16 years old and going in for a routine female appointment. My Dr. found a suspicious lump in my breast, 16 years old and I'm being sent for a mammogram! How embarrassing 😏 It turns out to be fybroids though and no real worries. 
Strike Two
Now we'll fast forward to 2011, I'm enjoying my life! I'm a single young woman with a great job! In August at 27 years old, I find out I'm pregnant! Not the I had intended to start my family but more than ready to take the bull by the horns and trudge on into single parenthood. Going in for my first ultrasound at (I think) 12 weeks, surprise! It's twins!😮 Ok life,you are seriously pulling out all the cards! I'm ready though, let's do this!
Yay! It's anatomy scan day! What will they be? So much excitement as we learn there will be two princesses joining our family in April 2012, just in time for mommy's birthday! One week later the phone rings, "I'm sorry but we noticed a problem on the ultrasound with Baby B. We need you to come in for a repeat, she appears to be cleft affected."
Strike Three
December 30, 2011 I'm having some discomfort in the nether region and so I'm put on 24 hour observation. I'm having contractions but meds stop them and so, I go home but am taken off work. It's New Years Eve, gonna get crazy with my pregnant self and my bestie watching movies and eating junk food! However my discomfort comes back  and stronger than before so we rush to the hospital. I'm 24 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I'm dilating. Emergency trip to Rochester, 3 minutes from the hospital my water breaks. My babies are too small to deliver naturally and so emergency cesarean it is! 1 pound 12 ounces and 1 pound 8 ounces of pure bliss, but my sweet Baby A is struggling. She fights for nine days before finally letting me know she's tried hard enough, and so, I let her go.

Amelia Zeda Johnson 01/01/2012-01/10/2012

Strike 4
April 6, 2018 I just met a man that makes me smile 24/7! Finally! Alright, not 24/7 but he is a wonderful man and I've waited *almost* 34 years for him to cross my path! Fast forward a couple of months, let's grow our family! So. Much. Peeing on sticks! Pregnancy tests, ovulation kits,.....it's just not happening so let's see if we can get some help, we aren't getting any younger! Routine bloodwork to rule out any obvious reason for irregular cycles such as thyroid issues and the low blowing news is much worse than we had prepared for.

Premature. Ovarian. Failure.

My body has failed me AGAIN! My body at 34 years old has gone into MENOPAUSE! Excuse me???? You want to know the real kicker? I've KNOWN. And I have asked MORE THAN ONCE. A beautiful woman I know, who happens to be my mother, went through menopause at 38. Now I know women are having later in life but even starting at 27, I was scared! That was only 11 years to add to my family before I reached the age my mom was when she went through menopause and we all know how fast time goes! Now here I am 4 years earlier and going through the same thing!
I had started having a little more irregular cycles and hot flashes and the gosh forsaken night sweats. When I'd bring it up time and time again to my doctor I was told, "don't worry, it's not hereditary, your symptoms are just from your cycle." Now I'm not blaming my doctor, obviously, and I know they couldn't have even stopped it! But we could have been proactive and tried to stay on top of it and checked my hormone levels when I mentioned it!

So here we are, I went to my first endocrinologist/fertility clinic yesterday. We did more bloodwork, this one to determine whether I have any eggs left in there. If the results came back saying I did, we'd try to induce a cycle and possibly start a round of Clomid to try and get a baby growing in there......my results came back.....I have no eggs. 😟 So now we do more bloodwork trying to determine what exactly caused my Premature Ovarian Failure. Possible genetics OR something else. In the meantime, I've been trying to explore our other options. One that stands out to me is donor eggs. I haven't talked it over with Steve yet so he doesn't even know what that process entails and of course I need him fully on board before considering going that route.

I'm hoping to get my next round of bloodwork done by the end of the week and the results of those the end of next week maybe and then I'll update everyone again! If anyone out there in the Caring Bridge world has experience with POF and donor eggs, I'd appreciate any input!




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