My Dearest Kiley,

You have shown me what bravery and courage look like.  You’ve shown me what it looks like to live by faith.  You’ve shown me what it looks like to cling to God.  You’ve shown me what it looks like to get back up when life knocks you down.  You’ve shown me what it looks like to reach out for help when life is too hard to do it on your own.  You’ve shown me how to search for a place of belonging in a local church until it feels like a right fit.  

You have trusted me with your darkest moments and your beautiful highlights of life.  You’ve trusted me to pick up the phone (geez..I know I need to take my silent mode off- sorry).  You’ve trusted me to meet your needs when you were little…all of you have. What an honor to be Mom to all of you girls.  What a gift from God (and Dad). 

The last few years (I write this specifically for updating others) I’ve seen you begin to explore your life dreams because life looks different than we thought it would in 2020.  We didn’t even know if you’d get to celebrate your 19th birthday and here we are today celebrating year 22.  You are seriously a walking miracle. Your story, your response to this stupid brain cancer, has looked different than Dad’s and that is an answer to prayer.  

In the last year we have transitioned from Children’s Mercy to the University of Kansas Medical Center for treatment.  Dr. Tunsar was profound in his bold statement at your last appointment.  The MRI looked good, again, and you asked “when is it going to happen?” Dr. Tunsar looked at you and said, Kiley, “you just need to live. I have some patients with this disease currently in my practice that have been living with this for 10 years. You need to live.” And with that encouragement, my sweet girl, you have been brave as you enrolled at your local community college and jumped into a full load of classes in Jan. 2024 with a dream of completing your associates in business and owning your own coffee bus.  You’re such a people person…sharing Jesus with a good cup of coffee sounds like such a good fit!

As you’ve been on this journey, you’ve continued to pull at my heart strings.  Statements like, “My brain doesn’t work like it used to, it’s so frustrating.” “I just learned to read.” “Mom, I met with the office of disabilities and they are providing me with some additional time on tests for processing.” “Mom, I think I have a routine down now.” “Mom, I emailed a professor.” “Mom, I did good on my last test.” Kiley, I know you’ve been worried that as you take this step in life that somehow history will repeat itself…like when you were preparing to attend Mizzou after high school graduation and that dang tumor showed up in 2020. But God…He’s walking with you and here you are. 

Just a few days ago, I was tired and weary and commented “I’m tired of literally trusting God”...But God…He gives us the faith of a mustard seed and somehow that’s enough. We may never know the whys of this life, but we know Jesus and that’s enough. 

I’m grateful you’ve plugged into a group of women in your community to walk with you through studying the scriptures.  I’m grateful that you have a husband who loves you and walks beside you.  I’m grateful that you have a job that brings you smiles as you serve kids at your church and serve coffee to the next person at Toasty Goat.  I’m grateful that you have the opportunity to serve on mission this spring in Jamaica again with Cole and others in Veritas.  I’m grateful for your life.  I’m grateful,through your example, that in the midst of anxiety and grief, that God continues to shine light into the darkness.

Today’s celebration is such a gift because all of us girls will be together.  Board games, dinner, coffee and watching you smile.  That is enough.  God is enough. 

Happy Miraculous 22nd Birthday, my beautiful girl.  What an honor it is to celebrate your life. 

Love,

Mom

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family.  Kiley’s next MRI is Feb. 29. 

Here are a few sweet songs with rich lyrics 

I will fear no more by the Afters

Forever, and always by the Afters