The good mood continues, the sun is shining again, it's Friday. I realized today I'm almost six months out from my diagnosis, and if you would have told me that my life would be like this six months ago I wouldn't have believed you. Because what has really changed?

A lot, I suppose, but also really not much. I go to chemo but I still go to work, too. I can do the things I was doing before. I'm a little more tired, my hair is shedding quite a bit (I'm not going to lose it but I'm lucky I have a ton of hair or it might be thinning in places by now), my body has some new aches and pains, but if I didn't know I had cancer I'd chalk it up to being older. I'm still working and hanging out with my kids and thinking about what to plant in my deck containers this weekend.

After Kevin died, I remember when I decided to try and grow things on the deck: it was amazing how the act of tending to my small container garden made me feel more connected to life, more in tune with myself and with nature. I've never had a green thumb, but growing those few plants made me differently. My mom used to have houseplants all over our kitchen - we had a philodendron that had tendrils going all the way across one of the curtain rods and sadly I can never figure out how often to water things so I drown them and dehydrate them all in the same week, sometimes. It's some secret plant growing mojo that never got passed down, but my little outside plants seem more resistant to my efforts to kill them - the rain helps I suppose, and I manage to keep them going. So this weekend will be figuring out what to grow. I normally stick to herbs, tomatoes, and peppers because those seem easy but part of me wants to plant something pretty but not useful, like flowers.

We'll see how much energy I have this weekend, although normally this weekend in the cycle I feel pretty good. It's a little scary to realize I only have 2 more rounds, a little more than a month that I can reasonably predict how I'll feel. We're going to embark on something new soon, and I'm trying to not be too scared about it today, because it doesn't have to be bad, although the chances are pretty favorable that it won't be good. Who knows, maybe my secret superpower is dealing with cancer treatment symptoms and I'll be just fine with whatever comes next. I hope so. I really want another good six months on top of this, maybe we can just keep stacking those on top of each other and I'll be 5 years down the road someday and looking back thinking it's gone fast but it hasn't been that bad, either.

Highlights of my week: Harrison had a job interview that seemed to go well, I made the kids sit down and eat dinner together, McKinley called me last night and is going to Dallas soon for work. Reagan is in town this weekend, so I might have someone who wants to plant with me, and the work week went fast, at least. Commencement is coming up and I have a ton of things to do for that which will keep me occupied for sure. I got a new lucky bracelet this week that has a lotus flower on it, which symbolizes strength, resilience and rebirth, and I certainly need all of those things, so it was a good purchase.

My grass is too long in my yard, and when I pulled in the drive yesterday, I noticed a cluster of beautiful periwinkle flowers that probably would never have grown if I had mowed in time. It was a good reminder that there is beauty in imperfection. It's been a week filled with more miracles than annoyances, more gratitude than resentment, more delight than cynicism. I hope that continues and I can continue to appreciate all I have.

I'm going to try to concentrate this weekend on growth and life. Cancer can wait and will be here for me next week.