On one hand, I know many of you have been waiting for an update, on the other hand, I hope you've assumed no news is (probably) good news. And, in general, that is exactly the case, more or less. 

Keith's chemo treatment has gone on for nearly 15 months and is working to keep the cancer and tumor stable. That's the great news. The other side of the coin is that once we got back from New Zealand in mid-December (hope you saw our travels on FB because it was as spectacular as it looked), the chemo treatments took a decidedly hard turn and became noticeably harder to tolerate physically and therefore emotionally (for both of us). Since late December/January, chemo treatments, even during his off weeks, were more difficult, extreme fatigue lasted longer, nausea that wouldn't subside began creeping in, general chemo malaise made it harder to get anything done beyond his workouts (which he's ever faithful at completing). I was working on campus and leaving him alone each day and that became harder and harder as I would come home and he'd been alone, feeling poorly and isolated all day and I felt guilty and sad at my comings and goings and time away from him, feeling like our time was slipping away. And so, by early February, we both had hit a pretty low point and I knew I (at least) needed to make some changes. We saw his quality of life diminishing physically and emotionally.

At our early January oncology check in with Dr. Joyce, we learned the tumor had not increased significantly but it had changed shape, growing longer on one side but smaller on another. His tumor marker was in the normal range (that's always good). Dr. Joyce wasn't surprised his tumor had grown a wee bit on one side given he'd had the long break from chemo for us to travel to New Zealand but still regarded the physical change in the tumor overall as unremarkable.

What was remarkable is that Keith's tolerance of the chemo schedule (2 weeks on, 1 week off), as eventually we knew would happen, was diminishing along with his ability to enjoy life. She suggested he consider trying a different chemo schedule (same chemo drugs) of 1 week on, 1 week off, 1 week on, 1 week off, etc. to see if he'd feel better between infusions. He knew this would mean less chemo overall overtime but she wanted him to think about his quality of life. So, he pondered it.

We had a trip scheduled to Arizona the last week in February and he decided to stay on the same chemo schedule until at least after Arizona. The changes I made in the meantime included asking if I could work remotely again to at least be home with him during the day and then eventually I decided to take a step back from work a bit more and reduced some of my responsibilities/involvements at work so I had some flexibility in my work days to spend quality time with him.  I might have coerced him into starting a 1000 piece puzzle as "quality time", which still remains mostly undone on our dining table.

Every single person in my work world continues to be supportive, flexible, and let me lead what I need to do (with work).  Additionally, I decided to find a therapist that I would see regularly and indefinitely to get some ongoing support as I was navigating the new reality, the stage that chemo is hitting harder and harder. Emotionally, he and I have both struggled with this new chapter. With some encouragement and a referral from my therapist (who specializes in working with chronic illness, cancer and agreed to work with me as the spouse of someone with terminal cancer), Keith also started to meet with a health psychologist to work through some of his own existential realities as he reflects on his life, his experiences, relationships and future. He has indicated he is feeling the benefits of that process as am I with my own therapist.

We had a check in with Dr. Joyce/oncologist last week and while he didn't do another CT scan for this check in, his tumor marker is still low and he's agreed to try the new chemo schedule (1 week on, 1 week off) starting April 1. This is his off week from chemo and to feel good he's skipping next week too so he feels good to go on a dad/daughter trip with Alison to see the Dresden Dolls in Nashville the last weekend in March. April 1, he'll start chemo again on the new schedule and see how it goes. 

The next exciting adventure is that we booked a trip to Hawaii, Maui for May. While in Arizona we met up with Amanda, of Amanda & Frank who we met on our New Zealand trip. She and her partner, Frank had invited us to use Frank's home in Maui anytime we could and when we had dinner with Amanda in Arizona recently, she double-downed on that invite and so, we're going! Dr. Joyce is always pleased to know we've created something to look forward to, like travel. We're zooming with Amanda later today to talk details. 

In other news, Jackson (youngest of our pups) started obedience class and he's the smartest. I've begun working with Juney on the same lessons Jackson and I are learning and she's also the smartest. Freddy, our Bichon/5 year old, has zero interest so far in obedience (lol). We've also begun taking Juney and Jackson to daycare along with Freddy and our neighbor dog, Chloe, twice a week. Jackson loves it now and Juney is still skeptical but giving it a go. We're so proud of them trying new things like their mama and dad and experiencing a new adventure. It's fun to read their report cards from day care and hear from the care providers about the day's antics, their new friends, and how they did overall. We ride the "bus" with Uncle Jack and Auntie Agnes (our dear friends and neighbors) on Mondays and Fridays to go to daycare. It's a hoot.

So, that's the news for now. We love you all. A few pics of our January, February, March adventures in living life to our fullest despite it all.