Exactly 1 year ago, Karen, jim, Kim and I were watching Kurt take his last breaths.

A year later, there's a little less shock, more acceptance.  A little less crying, maybe not today, but on most days.  A little less pain, a little more peace, especially because he didn't have to suffer much.

His house and truck - sold.  Winston (his German Shepherd) is still with Emily, even though Kurt didn't do a good job of training, nor socializing Winston, so Emily will be the first to tell you that he's not perfect.

It all happened so fast, that he had no burial plans, etc.  My father's looked at plots at local cemetery's, but hasn't decided on one, yet.  So Kurt's urn is still sitting on a credenza like piece of furniture in my parents' family room, with a U of M winter cap covering the top of it, next to his picture.

I still have dreams about him.

This morning, I dreamt that I was in my parents' kitchen, and we had a huge black lab, like at least 100 pounds, and taller than me when she stood on her hind legs.  She starting barking and jumping at the ceiling.  I said to her, "You see something?  You see Kurt?", then I let her put her front paws up on my shoiulders, so she could stand taller and be closer to him as she barked at him.


Thank you so much for all the support.  Thank you so much for all of those who were able to make his Celebration of Life.  We were so please with the turnout and it was so lovely to see so many people.  Relatives, family friends whom I've known most of my life, friends of ours just to offer support, friends and co-workers of Kurt's who helped make his job so enjoyable.

I'm so sorry that my parents have this anniversary of the death of their child.  I'm so sorry that my sweet sister has the loss of her brother, who was there from the beginning of her memories.  I think it's difficult to articulate the connection you have with someone with whom you've grown up with.  I'm so sorry that the girls (Sarah & Emily) lost their father, so suddenly, at such an early age, before he could teach them about being home owners, before he could walk them down the aisle, before he could meet his grandkids.

I'm so sorry for our entire family, who's... family - who've seen him and his children grow up, and even if they weren't super close to him, feel the loss, because he's family.  Including extended family, and friends who've become family over the years.

I'm so sorry for his friends, with whom he could talk about their families (including dogs), and sports and politics and gaming, and whom made his life more enjoyable and supported him.

Thank you all, for contributing postitively to Kurt's life, and supporting all of us through this.

Sending LOVE and GRATITUDE to all of you.  Happy holidays, and may all your loved ones be safe and well.