Note: there are two posts/updates tonight. My Dad has written a beautiful note provided below this journal update. 

Yesterday, we had a very intimate gathering for my Mom's burial at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in the Legacy Gardens section. We played her favourite songs, her brother, Pastor Tim, shared a few words, and we all placed a light peach sparkle covered rose over her white with pink flower accent casket. We all agreed, it was just what my Mom would have wanted. 

Today, we hosted Julie's Garden Gathering, for friends and family to come together for an opportunity to honour and remember my wonderful Mom (some pictures in gallery). As we have been sharing Julie's journey on this website, I felt it would be fitting to share the tributes that were shared in-person today. 

Julie's Garden Gathering Tributes 

By: Janae Enns

I think almost everyone here knows me, for those few new faces, my name is Janae Enns. I am the middle child of my Dad Rob and my Mom Julie. My Mom was not one to endorse big speeches. She shed a critical eye towards events that praised an individual or events where there were many, as she would say “drawn out speeches”. She did not always see the value in commemorating or praising a particular individual. She was humble and modest and never craved the spotlight. We actually had a theoretical conversation about how I wanted her to give a speech at my wedding one day, and she completely and utterly opposed. It was a hard no regardless of the circumstances…. Well, she did managed to get out of that one I guess. But in honour of her wishes, we only allotted for a few special people to share if they felt inclined. Aligned with this sentiment, I tried to keep my words short, but we’ll see how I do.

It was very emotional for me to sit down and attempt to organize my thoughts into something meaningful to share. I was grappling with the reality that there are no real words to capture the essence of my Mom and the critical role she played in my life. This is an impossible task. In the midst of accepting defeat of my speech attempt, I was interrupted by a call from my Grandma. We spoke about whether I should share anything today and she shared a reading that has been giving her comfort. “There is sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. A tear is worth far more than ten thousand words. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and unspeakable love”. As set out Psalm 56:8, God keeps track of our sorrows and collects all our tears in his bottle”. But What he actually does with our tears, we have yet to know.

While this validates our overwhelming emotional response to my Mom’s earthly departure, my family knows quite well she was not one to dwell in any form of self-sorrow for long. In fact, she really didn’t tolerate it. That is why instead of a traditional “funeral”, which she was adamantly opposed to, we opted for a more fitting “garden gathering”. I will note we intentionally steered away from any references to “a celebration of life”. While although Julie had a wonderful life worth remembering and honouring, it seemed inherently wrong to “celebrate” the sudden early departure of our beloved Mom. It was far too soon and far too unexpected.  However, her Garden Gathering today commemorates my Mom by incorporating many of her favourite items. I think what we have going on back here today, is probably pretty close to what her heaven looks like. We are just missing some animals running around.

My Dad has done such an incredible job sharing on the CaringBridge website, that I am not sure I have too much to add. But as we are gathered here in-person today, I will elaborate on some of the key messages we have shared and maybe touch on some new ones. In nature with my rather goal-oriented mindset, today I would like to accomplish two tasks. First, I would like us to REMEMBER my Mom, by sharing about some of her favourite things in life that brought her joy. Second, I would like to HONOUR my Mom, by sharing how she will continue to live on through the many lessons she has taught us.

REMEMBERING JULIE – here, there are 7 items I would like to briefly go through.  

1. First, God. My mom was steadfast in her faith. She emanated the Lord’s teachings and was consistently learning each day to be closer to him. About a month before she left us, she told me she had been wondering if it is her time to go. She said it as a matter of fact, not the least bit concerned. The week before we lost her, she spontaneously told me she was so excited to go to heaven and reunite with lost loved ones. She even told me she had been reminiscing about a dream where she did just that, she was welcomed to heaven by angels and saw her loved ones. This same day, we had an interesting debate if animals go to heaven. I guess one of her favourite pastors seems to preach that animals don’t make it there. I strongly disagreed, and assured her Eugene, our beloved French Bulldog who we lost last year would most definitely be there to greet her when the time comes.
2. Second, Family. Her family was absolutely everything to her. Much like her own Mom, she was the glue that kept us together. The energy that kept us going. The guide when we were lost. She was so proud of how close we were as a family unit, and I am so happy she expressed just that to me during her final days. These past few years she led by example. Taking time out of each day to call her own Mom and visit her weekly in the States, where she still resides in a care home. Although Grandma is very confused these days, I know how deeply proud she was of Mom.
3. Third, Animals. My Mom has such a love for all animals, big or small, ugly or cute. I mean she adored hairless cats and French bulldogs and I think there may be an ongoing debate whether those classify as cute, maybe ugly cute? Regardless, she loved them all. Her horse Brynne, her dogs Poppy and Petunia and her hairless cat Affro, were incredibly important to my Mom. Her love for animals highlights her compassion and desire to nurture all living things, all of God’s creations.
4. Fourth, Style. I think we all can attest my mom had amazing style. She always looked her best no matter the occasion. Whether she was going to one of my Dad’s hoity toity doctor functions, or whether she going to ride her horse. Mom was always put together, makeup on and appropriate, but stylish, outfit in check. Similarly, her interior decorating and love for cars I think corresponds to her very special eye for design. She always had a way of picking out the special items that others would simply overlook.
5. Fifth, Sweets. Boy did my Mom have a sweet tooth, for almost all things sugary. But specifically, she loved any form of mangos. During her last week with us, my Dad made a special mango drink for us to enjoy here in the yard. Although it wasn’t really my taste, Mom raved about it. To her, it was the most delicious thing she had ever had, which is why we opted for Julie’s feature Mango Mocktail today. She also LOVED caramel. A tub of caramel with maybe a spoonful of ice cream, would just about do the trick for her. Out of the norm, the morning of her heart complication I had picked up Starbucks and got her an extra caramelly latte. She boasted how delicious it was, of course because of the copious amount of caramel in it. It was very fitting she got to indulge in a caramel treat during some of her final moments with us and I am thankful for that. She also quite enjoyed shortbread cookies. There was usually a secret stash in her room, just for those rare craving moments. And of course, the infamous Splenda. She truly put Splenda on just about EVERYTHING. And I am not talking just a splash of Splenda here and there, I am talking about a healthy amount of Splenda in everything. I would always giggle whenever I was around to witness her making her morning coffee and watch in awe the number of Splenda scoops that were required to ensure her coffee was just right.
6. Sixth, Friendship. Mom did not have a wide friend circle. She much preferred having a close circle, where she cut focus her energy and efforts into. I observed over the years how much she valued and cared for those select individuals that were part of her circle, or as she called it her “VIPs”. Her daily walks, restaurant outings and frequent phone-calls, always showed how important her friends were to her. She was always there in times of need and would never question lending her support. She was a true friend.
7. Seventh, and lastly, is her Garden. I do not need to elaborate much on this item. Julie’s Garden Gathering is to showcase the energy and skill my Mom had for gardening. I hope everyone has taken a few quiet moments to walk around in observance and reflection in my Mom’s beautiful garden. The garden highlights her patience, creativity and fearlessness. Always changing the plants, strategically. Selecting different species that would bloom at different times, or attract the hummingbirds, which she loved so much. Her garden also goes back to her eye for design. Always knowing what plants to incorporate, constantly learning new trends, and being fearless in changing things up on a whim.

Now for part 2 - HONOURING JULIE – She Will Continue to Live On

Reflecting on my relationship with my Mom, I have to recognize that in a broad sense, absolutely everything I am today, Mom helped shape me to be. She taught me what seems like infinite life lessons, but I’ll share a select few.

1. First is confidence. Mom was often quick to speak her mind. She had strong opinions about almost every topic, partially because she was so well versed in almost every topic. It was something I admired and sometimes hated at the same time. However, this taught us not to be complacent or get pushed around. She taught us to stand up for ourselves, our values and beliefs. We don’t have to fit any societal molds of normalcy. She taught us how to be a strong individual.
2. This lesson of confidence also relates to her sense of style and commitment to always looking her best. When one looks their best, they feel their best. Everything I wear, she either bought for me or we bought it together on one of our frequent shopping outings, which was usually to Nordstrom’s. It was standard for us to pick out a few items and then when the exhaustion from the hunt for cute clothes set in, we would sit at the Nordstroms bar, order a whiskey sour with amaretto and the brussel sprouts., They are really delicious there in case you haven’t tried them. I have always liked to brag how my Mom and I have the same style. We probably have at least 10 matching shirts. I am going to miss my shopping partner. But the truth is my Mom and I don’t “have the same style”. My Mom passed down her eye for fashion to me. I learned my sense of style from her, it’s my Mom’s style, and I will continue to carry that with me. I also wanted to mention that it was quite standard on our shopping trips, for my mom to try and convince me to buy some expensive outfit that I really didn’t need. It was usually something by the designer of Ted Baker. Well my sister and I both bought new Ted Baker dresses, just for this occasion today, and we hope you like them Mom.
3. The importance of family has been ingrained in us by my Mom. But this lesson has only ever come to the requisite forefront since her passing. We will continue to support and love each other as a family unit, because that is all Mom ever wanted. Us to come together and trust in God.

She was utterly successful in her true role as a mother. So I try and find some form of comfort knowing that for as long as I breathe, she will continue to live on through me.

I miss my Mom, I miss my best friend. Mom your legacy will continue to live on through all your invaluable life teachings and I pray you will continue to send your blessings through the hummingbirds in passing.  … also sorry mom if this was too much of a drawn out speech for you….

To close I have a short poem I would like to share that’s fitting with the theme of Julie’s Garden Gathering.  

My Mother's Garden  

My Mother kept a garden.
A garden of the heart. 
She planted all the good things, 
That gave my life its start. 

She turned me to the sunshine,
And encouraged me to dream;
Fostering and nurturing 
The seeds of self-esteem 

And when the winds and rains came,
She protected me enough;
But not too much, she knew I'd need
To stand up strong and tough. 

Her constant good example,
Always taught me right from wrong;
Markers for my pathway
To last my whole life long.

I am my Mother's garden.
I am her legacy. 
And I hope today she feels the love, 
Reflected back from me.

By: Cherie Enns

I want to begin by acknowledging Rob, Bri/Steve, Janae/Nick, Chase/Dakota; for their written, spoken and unspoken words, the never-ending sorrow of the unanticipated loss of life, and for the privilege of being here today with you in Julie’s garden; to honour a daughter, sister, mother, wife and to me and many of us; a treasured friend. 

You all have your favourite Julie stories, some shared over the past few weeks, and moments, all precious and funny, from travel to dinners, walks, a lot of laughter, riding/shows, history of when the kids were little, -a never ending cascading bouquet of memories, reflecting the seasons of her life.

But please allow me share a few of my memories, ways she touches my life, a letter written as a tribute to Julie.

Dear Julie,

I met you almost 40 years ago, you were barely 20 years old.  I remember that first meeting as it was yesterday. You and Rob were camp counsellors in Washington State, and ironically, during your early dating you were not allowed to leave camp to cross the border to Canada, no pandemic, but restrictions of a different nature.  We were all so young, now looking back on our silliness and fun, it was from those earliest moments it was certain you and Rob were meant to be married.

When I first met you, I thought you were incredibly beautiful, angelic, and even when we recently went shopping, early April and you tried on an outfit, I as then always loved your style.  I remember how perfect you looked at your wedding, how beautiful you were 5 years ago at Bri and Steve’s wedding, you were and always are so elegant. 

We had a lot fun/stress in those early years planning our weddings, activities with our small children and then of course many shopping adventures.  Many times, when we were shopping in the States we stopped at your parents -it was great to see how you teased your Dad and how great your mother was with the kids. Those days were busy but so much fun. (Now at this point, I digress, you will notice, there are some things I did not share with Julie, I had no equestrian talent, but we were very talented shoppers J. )

I often wondered it might be hard, for you to be away from States / family but you managed to fully embrace your Canadian life without letting go of your family in the States or the many ‘Americanisms’ we used to tease you about. 

 At one point we lived together, mostly happily in the West 13th house.  But like any sister n laws we had our moments.  There was the time we decided to share a dog, and let’s just say when our oldest children came home from the hospital to that house -it was a good thing we did not have to share them too.

I have so much admiration for all you juggled in those early years.  I remember when we lived upstairs/downstairs on West 13th and your early trips to Bellingham to work as a dental assistant.  There was the day I needed to be rushed to emergency, you were home early and took me-and when we arrived at emergency -you made certain in a very loud voice I received immediate attention.  I loved that about you -how caring and protective you are of those you love. How you always spoke your mind and advocated for those you care about, especially for your children. 

We enjoyed many weekends staying at Helens and Georges, picnics at Cultus Lake for the weekend, and at all the family events Julie and I would often escape to walk, or go for coffee. Hawaii trip was a highlight and over time as you and Rob moved from place to place, special events, trips and visits framed our times together.  Coffee, walks, shopping were the outward activities, but they were just a backdrop to what was at the heart of our time -conversations, sharing, a friendship, gifts for special occasions, you were truly always there for me.   

Julie, it was so great that you all ended up moving to Fraser Heights (although I think it was first to a Guildford Hotel -my kids appreciated the pool)- and how great our children went to the same school). Thank you for how often you watched our girls and support when my Dad died. Life was so busy and challenging at times so we did not spend a lot of time together;  but there were always walks, family dinners, and shortbread cookies we would find in Helens freezer. 

More recently it was so much fun that Janae went to UFV and I appreciated you attending an event there, you are so supportive of all your children but also of your friends.

However, Julie, for me in terms of our friendship, nothing compares to the trip to E Africa.  The trip followed a loss in your life and Rob-thank you so much for that amazing memory.  B/J were so much fun to be on safari with, all of you beautiful each day, embracing every minute -even the challenges of that trip. Julie was so impressed by you -how you adapted and were so excited with each moment/animals especially the lions/early morning safari breakfast even if there were days you did not feel great.  (Yes, always animals, coffee, walks and times for shopping)

Julie, I keep replaying in my mind the times I spent with you over the last 6 weeks, not every day walks as with close friends here but the occasional walk(Petunia in the stroller), coffee and cake, short shopping trip and then the dinner in Crescent Beach.  Same activities but a frame now for an even deeper conversation. You always spoke to me of how proud you are of your children, Chase and his goals/volunteer work -good kid, Bri/Steve and Janae and more recently also of God.  And thinking of the dinner in Crescent Beach (at k/d w Janae) that night I noticed how Rob made sure you were warm, took care we did not walk too far, how much he loves you.  We often joked how you were training Rob -but really what I saw was a relationship that had matured to be truly reciprocal, centred, full of spark and so loving.  

We talked about retirement, you said you love the Ocean, and even the place in Nanaimo, and I said if you would be there some of the time then I would buy there too. We met Petunia the Pig on our walk  that night and a couple days later I sent you a photo of her -You Said I love her.  I suggested Rob get you a pet miniature pig for your 60th birthday.  I was looking forward to this birthday; to taking my cues from you on aging(gracefully), walks, coffee and shopping with you as my friend.

Julie, you are not present as before, but you are still part of my life- all of our lives and when I think of you and ways you impact me -I have organized it (sorry the teacher in me) -in 5 categories. 

A -appreciation -of nature, animals (that continue to give joy), awe for all of God’s creation, interest and appreciation of others, their successes  

N -no pretense, you had many reasons to be a snob, beauty- talents life success -but that was never the case -you were as Rob has written content in who you were  -

G -gorgeous -gracious- generosity -in all aspects of your life-home-routines -garden -gracious when faced with adversity -hip replacement and how you got back on a horse. 

E- Elegant or effervescent (not pop) personality is lively, sparkling and high-spirited-laughter.

Love -God- Family – Life -Loss -Love

Julie Allow me to conclude this letter with just the last few lines of poem I wrote -hope you do not think it is too sappy.

Commitment to God; in no specific order, to her pets, children, and Rob, there are no rivals;
Julie, always, worked to weave her magic, in the design and creation of their daily routines;
Together, they faced life challenges, premature babies, health worries, always joyful survival. 

And no matter, what, as a family unit, aligned with heavenly values, they continue to thrive; 
And today as I gaze at their strong, talented and most beautiful children, I can only sense;
Her perseverance in love, her resilience in loss, sense of home, is indelibly printed on their lives. 

And now through their evolving stories, the example of their parents, this beautiful angel, peacefully lives on. 

Julie, your impact lives on also in me, in all of us, until we meet again. 

Cherie 

By: Robert Enns

Out of the 100s of talks I have done in my career, I have only written my talks out for 4 events during my career. One for my fathers funeral, one for my daughters wedding, one for my wife’s burial yesterday and one for today. Somehow for these events, I am concerned that words may abandon me. 

I would like to thank you for attending today. I know it is Fathers day and many of you have had to alter plans with your family to be here. Families are so important.

Julie made a number of strange comments about death and burial and her thoughts regarding the issues this last year. Sometimes a comment would come out when we were watching 48 hours or another type of show, especially during the COVID time period when we watched more TV, often programs where a death occurred. She would make a number of ‘off the cuff comments.’ She even made comments about her dreams. We remember all these comments the last few weeks and we are so grateful for her guidance, given long in advance- we had no difficulty in decision making of what she wanted when we had to make the decisions for her..

The first question our family counsellor asked was what conflicts have arisen and the answer was – none. We discussed each step of this process as a family and always knew her thoughts.

A couple of weeks prior to her event, Julie had seen a significantly disabled person on a program and talked without hesitation about if something happened to her, she was either there in her best health, or not at all. She did not want to have significantly altered brain function (particularly since her mother has significant dementia). Although the decision to remove life support was very difficult, all family members were fully aware of her wishes. No argument.

Julie didn’t want a large, formal funeral event. That wasn’t her wish. We had a small burial yesterday at Forest lawn cemetery- she is in the Legacy Section just off the drive with beautiful views of mountains and city-she finally got her views, which I never provided with a home.  A white casket with roses, it looks like it was made for her. The spot is very peaceful and the site is more like a park.  

She would have been thrilled with the simplicity and discussion that occurred, focusing on positivity of her life.

Today, is quite different from a very small gathering yesterday.  

Large socials were not her major area of interest. She was actually shy and preferred to socialize with smaller groups. The idea of an open casket, or large groups talking about her would have put her off. And she had no difficulty in letting others know her feelings. Trying to change her mind or convince her of anything different- if she had decided was impossible. Once she made up her mind, changing it was, well, like moving a mountain. She was steadfast in her thought processes once they were developed.  

So then how could we justify this gathering like this when she really didn’t want anyting big? Well, this gathering isn’t just for Julie. So many people have been so kind to us, so many have supported us with prayer, condolences, food, flowers, notes of encouragement- so many have shared our pain. You can’t take it away, truthfully, you can’t really decrease it- but when one knows that others feel it, it brings one to some type of unity with their friends and family – that we all bare her departure from us together. We are so thankful to everyone and their kindness during our time of need.

So we have this Garden Gathering:

1. To try to show you what my wife, my children’s mother, your relative, your friend- to each here she was something different. We try to show you what she was here and what she did.
2. To show her handiwork. She created our home. She, with a little help from me often, raised our amazing children. She created this atmosphere. It is her vision and her goals and objectives- and it might never look like this again. Particularly the yard is unlikely to look exactly the same in the future. Although we can try to imitate her vision, it is just that- an imitation. We are now a different family with new roles. We can try to imitate but that will never be like the original.
3. To thank you and give you an opportunity to see what Julie meant to us and also give you an opportunity to say what Julie meant to you. A time together reminiscing for some might give closure; it is not a word we cherish, as living with this is different from the pain going away.

The most important aspect to Julie with this event is above all, that her believes be espoused. She was an ardent believer and steadfast in her beliefs. Not afraid, no fear, knew exactly where she was going. A naivety with her beliefs that was unmoveable.

We are crushed and have pain beyond comprehension at her sudden, unexpected, departure. Even though we have full confidence in her next steps we still have an obvious emptiness and void that is unfathomable.

During hard times I am often taken to listening to the many songs of Lauren Daigle and my favourite, by far, is trust in you.

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

I've tried to win this war, I confess

My hands are weary, I need Your rest

Mighty warrior, King of the fight

No matter what I face, You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through

When You don't give the answers

As I cry out to You

I will trust, I will trust

I will trust in You

Truth is, You know what tomorrow brings

There's not a day ahead You have not seen

So in all things be my life and breath

I want what You want, Lord, and nothing less

When You don't move the mountains

I'm needing You to move

When You don't part the waters

I wish I could walk through…

The rock of our home, my soul mate for 37 years, my steadfast partner was bigger than life to me. When it came to faith, she was the mountain that couldn’t be moved. But the Lord decided to move that mountain away from here. I didn’t chose it and don’t understand it. However, she would not have questioned it and never did.

She lived and died trusting with full confidence and faith. Her wish is that you have the same confidence and faith.

I again, thank you for attending. I hope you enjoy the time and spend as long as you want/can with us today.

Proverbs 10:7 states

The memory of the righteous will be a blessing.

We have all been blessed by our dearly departed Julie.