It’s been a long few days since infusion of the Red Devil on Wednesday.  Charlie has been at my son’s house since Tuesday night.  I miss him so very much.  

This time around hit me pretty hard.  This is now Sunday evening and I feel absolutely miserable.  Weak, upset stomach, headache.  The nausea pills help, thank God!   It would be so much worse without them.

I start the next round of Chemo on Taxol once every Wednesday next Wednesday   I’m told it’s not as strong as the Red Devil, but the side effects accumulate as the infusions go on   I’ll have Taxol for twelve weeks.   That seems like forever right now.

Last two nights I haven’t slept well.  I’m so tired.  

I go to the infusion center again on Wednesday for fluids again and see my Oncologist.  I’ll talk to her again about something to help me sleep.  I’ve run out of what she prescribed a little over a month ago.  

I want Charlie hone with me, but due to the weakness and just not feeling well, I’m afraid of falling down stairs taking him in and out.  I’d be no use if that were to happen.  Hopefully better tomorrow to bring him home.

Over the last two weeks I’ve known two people to pass away from this awful disease, Cancer   A very dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer.  Today I found out a coworker lost his life last night.  

This is just all too much.   I’ve lost so many .   My BFF in 2013, my aunt, a brother-in-law, a dear friend I worked with at MAST in Kansas City.  Relatives and friends who have fought and won.  Friends who have fought and won, only to have it return and fighting yet again.   

Just laying here on the couch, wondering what God has in store for me.