Hello all and Merry Christmas! It has been several of months since I have communicated anything on Caring Bridge. I would communicate weekly, with all of you, about John's health and that obviously came to an abrupt end. I thought I would give an update about my family and our time since John's passing. It is also a year to the day that John began his first chemo treatment.  This strange anniversary of sorts has brought up many thoughts and emotions as well. It was certainly a brief battle with such an insidious disease.  

I often ended my posts with my list of thank you's. This time I would like to start with them. 
Thank you to my parents. They spent 4 months with us in their travel trailer parked on our driveway. They made sure that life wouldn't be quite so difficult to maneuver. My parents loved John and that was very apparent by their actions. Thank you to John's family, in Lancaster and beyond, who offered such love and support to all of us during this struggle. They continue to be there for us, and we are blessed to be in close proximity to them. Thank you to Bishop Daniel and his staff for supporting us through this transition. The Diocese and Bishop have allowed our family the ability to move through this crisis, without fear. Thank you to all who contributed to St. James' on behalf of Fr. John. Thank you to all who contributed to the Lancaster County Conservancy on behalf of John. Thank you to all who have contributed their personal time to our family. Thank you to all were able to contribute to the GoFundMe account, created on our behalf. I confess that I have been very slow to send out personal thank you cards. I hope you will forgive me for that. Thank you to Dick M., Fr. John's senior warden. He ensured that anything regarding the church and our family were addressed. I can only imagine how time consuming this process has been for Dick and his family. The senior warden is a volunteer position and quite demanding in normal times. Thank you also to St. James' vestry for all the work that needed to be done, much of which I am unaware of. Thank you to Luann M. for her support, love and hard work during this time of transition. Thanks to all who helped make the funeral service both beautiful and such a smooth service. There were a lot of guests that attended the service and/or went through the line to greet the family. What a powerful testament to all that Fr. John was to so many. Thanks to Judy B. and Joann M. who had always offered rides for Macayla. Continued thanks to Carol M., a caring friend, who has always been in touch and offers her time and help in any way she can. Thanks to Nikki Z. who never says no to a playdate with the boys! Thanks to Michelle R. for her love and support for myself and the kids. Thanks to Matt A. for being a friend and being a big kid with the kids. Thanks to Joyce and Larry W. for their love and support. Thanks to so many whom I have not mentioned who have offered their time to help us, and especially their prayers of support for my family. 

Our lives are now about trying find a new normal. I imagine I have yet to find what normal is, and I don't think I will wake up one day knowing the answer. What I have found is an even deeper faith than I had before. I have taken time to ponder this life, the physical body, the wonder of faith, and the love of God. I feel as though I have been a witness of a great revealing. This has brought me much peace. I am still quite sad. My children are sad. It's not all the time, but we laugh and cry together. I have great hope for the future for my family, and I'm confused about it at the same time. I have many questions, but I try not to dwell on too much at any given time. I certainly have enough to do to keep me busy/distracted. With all that, life moves on and our family, like many, started another school year at the end of August and the kids seem to be doing ok. We have been attending a church that is closer to our home. My family and I were not able to continue at our beloved St. James'. I do miss so many wonderful people. It is just too much to take when John is no longer there to lead the service or watch him share the Love of Christ with all who attended. Sometimes I play back old Livestreams of his services. What a strange blessing to have so many videos. Who knew that by learning all that technology for the video stream, I would then be watching those videos in another capacity altogether. I pray for St. James' church and their journey to find a new rector. It can be quite a long process.   

Our summer, after the funeral, had visits to the beach and mountains. We were able to take some time to go camping together at a favorite spot in Shenandoah National Park. The boys had a number of playdates and Macayla was able to hang out with friends. This was a good change for her summer as she is usually away most of it and has very little time to spend with friends. She was able to get some time in FL with family as well. A significant milestone has already passed. John would've been 55 just two months after his passing. There were many people who sent us well wishes that day. 

After finishing the summer and fall at my property, with all the maintenance and long hours, I decided I didn't want to spend all my free time in that capacity, in the future. Many people offered to help but I decided to find a new home with less exterior work, less interior projects, and a new space to create this altered life in, with my family. I found a wonderful home less than 10 minutes away in Honey Brook. It may even have a familiar address for some! We are loving the new surroundings and moved just in time to set up Christmas decorations to celebrate one of the most amazing holidays. I have already found a feeling of home in it, even with several unpacked boxes. As I write this, I'm sitting in the new "music room" of the new house and just heard my 8-year-old son playing Christmas songs on the piano. What a blessing! The cello music from my daughter sounds amazing in this room also. 

Several people checked in on us for the Thanksgiving holiday. We decided to go with a non-traditional approach and headed to Disney World. The boys had never been, and Macayla is always on board for a trip. Thank you, Joyce and Larry W., for their generosity, time and planning, so we could all be together over the holiday. We spent time in Orlando and St. Augustine with them. Disney is a fascinating place where we made some wonderful memories. We even ran into some friends from Downingtown. What are the odds? 

My parents are back in PA for Christmas, and we are so happy they made the journey. The also arrived just in time to help with the move. They have done a few moves with me, and I am so grateful for the help. The movers I hired helped me to realize that I have more stuff than I thought.  My family helped move all that wasn't put on the truck over the course of a bit more than a week. Sometimes local moves are just more time consuming! I am still in the process of selling my other home, so please say a prayer for that. It is under contract, but it still needs to close. 

Enjoy this Christmas season. Peace and Love to you all and may you have a happy and healthy 2023!