School has started back again. It's the start of my 20th year. It will be my first school year without John as I met him during my first year of teaching. It's hard to believe it was that long ago. I can't believe summer is over already. But it has been good for me to get back into a routine. I'm starting to sleep better and I actually grocery shopped and am cooking more than I have in many many months. It's definitely been an adjustment not having John to cook for and just cooking for myself.

I had a really good summer. I took lots of trips and saw lots of family and friends. I ended with a dive trip to Cozumel, Mexico with friends - Randy & Marcia. It was a special trip. We were supposed to do this in 2020, but had to cancel because of Covid. Cozumel was John's favorite place to dive. He would have loved the trip. We saw some awesome marine life on our dives: sharks, lobsters, turtles, rays, eel, hermit crab, splendid toad frogs, etc. We were there for a week and dove the first 4 days in a row. We saw 2 spotted eagle rays on our first dive. They were pretty close and swam back and forth several times. I got some really good photos & videos of them. Usually they are gone before you can even get a picture. John loved spotted eagle rays. So I think it was a sign from him. I took some of John's cremated remains on the trip and sprinkled them on a coral reef on our last day of diving. At the beginning of that dive we saw another spotted eagle ray. (They are not common there in the summer). I think it was another sign that he was with us. The owner of the dive shop had thought of a good spot for me to put his remains. She told the dive master and then he signaled to me when we were at that spot. Randy & Marcia both got a good video of it. Then we met back up with the dive master and other diver after that. At the end of that day we happened to have reservations for the Italian restaurant - which is one of our favorite foods. And I had tiramisu for dessert - also one of John's favorites. I always make that every year on our anniversary. I felt like he was with us.

So I have to share some things that have happened recently that I think are signs from him. On Saturday night I had the TV on in bed. I was ready to go to sleep and turned the TV off. A couple minutes later the TV turned back on by itself. I thought I had laid on the remote or something, but I looked and the remote was on the other side of the bed. I think John was messing with me 😂. Then tonight I went out to the garage to take something to my car. I turned the light on in the laundry room, but it wouldn't turn on. I flipped the switch a bunch of times and it flicked a little like the light bulb was burnt out. I was not looking forward to figuring out how to change it. I tried the other light switch and the light turned on just fine. Again, I think that was John 😂.

I'm still getting used to not having John here to help with stuff and fix stuff. I will admit I am getting better at figuring things out or asking for help. My bike shoes literally fell apart a few weeks ago. They were duct taped together so I knew it would happen eventually. I had no idea what bike shoes I needed, but I was able to research it and find out what kind I would need for my pedals. I ordered the right kind and then had to figure out how to attach the cleat to the bottom of the shoe, but got that figured out too. John would have done that in half the time. I also changed internet providers at home. Everything but mine & John's laptops would connect to the internet. I couldn't figure out how to get our laptops to connect. They would connect to our hotspot or other networks just not the new one. I spent countless hours trying to figure it out. Finally I had to call Dell Support and pay for them to fix it. They fixed it on one computer and I was able to fix it on the other computer when I saw what they did. But I know John would have figured it out in way less time!

I camped with my parents at the end of July. I had never pulled our camper before or hooked it up. John always did that. But I wanted to learn how so I can take it places. So my parents taught me how to hook it up, pull it, level it and back it into a camp site. I will still need practice backing it into a camp site, but feel pretty good at doing the other things. I think John would be proud of me. He would have had fun camping with us. We were able to catch a sunset one of the nights. John loved watching the sunset especially when we were by the water. He'd even have a way to gauge with his fingers how much time there was before the sun went down.

I miss him a lot and think about him constantly. But I've been doing well. I'm going to a grief support group twice a month. That has been really good. I've joined a widows group as well. And I also joined a small group through church that meets regularly for bible study and fellowship. So I do have some good support.