I appreciate your entries, Beth, and wonder if putting your thoughts in a post might offer some therapeutic benefit. My advice would be if so, continue, if not, stop. Or move to a personal journal. But the fact that you've allowed yourself to be so authentic and vulnerable here has been a gift to me and I'm sure others.

Bethie, I just saw a tribute to Vernon Jordan on PBS Newshour and it reminded me so much of John. He (John) was a mentor to so many. He was present and serious about friendship. One of the women Vernon mentored said she focused on his faith and it helped her keep her sadness and sorrow in check. I'm so glad you can still express your feelings in words. I hope that knowing how much John (and you!) gave to other people is a comfort to you and just by sharing your thoughts with us, you're doing the same. His physical body is gone, but he will always be with you.

Your words , Beth, gives us a glimpse into a sacred sorrow. I hope you can write as long as it feels helpful to you...in the meantime, I feel honored to read your writing and want to hold what you share gently. Much love.

Sending you all our love. He was an amazing man and I can’t imagine what you are going through but I do love reading your posts and reading about the man he was outside of what I knew. You are a strong strong woman and I know it will get easier it’s just going to take a lot of time. I hope you know you are not alone. ❤️❤️❤️

Dear Beth, sending you so much love.

Sending love.❤️

Thanks for sharing with such honesty Beth. Sending you so much love. ❤️

Beth - I'm aching for you as I read your post. I know it doesn't change anything you're going through, but I just want to say that I love you very very much.