Thanks for the honest picture. We are your prayer warriors and send our love and encouragement as you continue to adjust to whatever comes your way. God knows and is with you with his love and everlasting arms. Rest in that...as best you can.
I spent most of my professional life as a detail-oriented planner and impatient for results, I was mission-focused and took no prisoners if goals were not achieved as prescribed.
Now, as a Believer, and a retired person, my perspective and focus have been transformed extensively, BUT I can fully relate to, and sympathize with your statements.