I was diagnosed with a very rare benign but aggressive skull based paraganglioma brain tumor.  I went through treatment, took awful medication for erratic BP & heart rate and finally  I was on the mend.  So thankful.  We thought the worst was behind us.  I flew to Florida on 1/4/20 for my niece Liz’s wedding. My family came the following evening.  I was back to myself.  We were all excited that energy level was about back to normal and for  the festivities to come.  The morning before the wedding I woke up to the most intense pain in my neck. White hot debilitating cause vomiting kind of pain.  I thought I slept wrong and also slept on a hotel bed.  We went to set up the wedding and my day got worse.  I called my doctor and he called in a very strong muscle relaxer. I skipped the rehearsal dinner but Michael and Kaitlyn attended.  I tried to rest but could not move. I texted Michael to take me to the ER.  I was not missing the wedding and knew I needed something stronger to cut the pain. They were baffled and also scared of my tumor. It’s so rare, they knew nothing about it. Most doctors will never see this tumor in their career. They wrote rx for meds to enable me to attend the wedding, which I did. We drove home the following morning and were wholly unprepared for what was to come.  I ended up on strong pain meds and muscle relaxers for the next four weeks while trying to figure this out.  I could do NOTHING but lie on a recliner.  When I would eat it felt like I was being shocked.  Had another ER visit when it all became too much again. Got help from a wonderful neurosurgeon here in Fayetteville.  Talked with my neurosurgeon at Mayo twice and he decided to confer with a neurosurgeon who specializes in spine stabilization.  I got a phone call to go straight to the medical supply store and get a hard cervical collar not to be removed. They informed me that I would be having surgery in 2 weeks.  We had no clue just how serious the situation was. Our big concern was getting out of pain.  We weren’t leaving Mayo without that.  We visited with the most brilliant neurosurgeon who does nothing but spines.  We were armed with a page of questions.  He pulled up my films and shut our mouths. My tumor had eroded a piece of the skull base which we already knew.  This never happens but in my case that piece of skull base had snapped off and was bouncing around my cervical vertebrae. The gamma knife weakened my c1,2 & 3 also so basically I had the perfect storm in my head. My neck was completely unstable.   The shock feeling when I would eat was the back of my jaw hitting my spine.  Horrifying!!! Also, on film it appeared one of my vertebrae might not have enough bone capacity for the screws.  We also had to quickly build up the awful medicine again to prepare for surgery. My consultation was on February 20th and surgery was on February 26th. The surgery was to remove bone fragment, add a bone graft and plate to my skull base, and fuse C1,2 &3.  We had no idea just how difficult the recovery would be.  I went back at 1:30 in the afternoon and Michael didn’t see me until 10:30 that night.  My BP was out of control and I spent the night in ICU. And oh the pain, surgical pain but uncontrollable pain.  My sweet husband stayed at my bedside for 48 hours without a break. It was rough. I was in the hospital for 4 nights and was released that Sunday evening. We were planning to drive  home the following morning. Michael went to pick up food and while he was gone I became very short of breath. Called my sister to pray because I was so short of breath. Michael walked into the hotel room thinking I would be asleep and I was on the floor trying to breathe.  Straight back to the ER. I was fine when I was released earlier that afternoon.  Three hours later I was on oxygen and had a temp of 101.7.  Back into the hospital.  I had aspiration pneumonia but to make it extra special I also had fluid around the lower lobes of both lungs. I had 4 teams of doctors working on my case. We stayed until Friday afternoon and I was so sick.  I had a barium swallow test which showed my swallowing wasn’t allowing all particles to go down the esophagus.  I had the fluid drained from my lungs in my hospital room. I blew through 8 IV’s between both hospital stays. Oh my goodness, my heart breaks for the chronically ill who have to endure such things on a regular basis and for their caregivers.  My husband was the perfect example of selfless love and devotion.  It has touched my heart so to see him taking such great care of me.  I am 2 weeks in on my 6 week surgical recovery and on oxygen at night for the next month as my lungs heal.  My full spine recovery will take one year and there are still hurdles to cross.  This is a year of being still, healing, and being very thankful to a God who has held us up through the most difficult circumstance.  As time goes on I am anxious to have the “why” revealed.  Everything happens for a reason and this one just has to have a great story at the end.  To all of the prayer warriors who have lifted us up in prayer, you will never know just how much we needed it. To the friends and family and our CLC family who have rallied around us at such a dark time, thank you for your selfless love. For the total strangers who took the time to pray for people they have never met, thank you!!!! As I write this my sister is on a flight to stay with me for 10 days and help with recovery.  I am just now able to put our story into words. This one nearly broke me.  This one took us to a dark and scary place. But by Gods Grace we are on the mend and so very thankful to join the real world again soon.