Jerry’s Story

Site created on February 5, 2019

Welcome to our CaringBridge website. We are using it to keep family and friends updated in one place. We so appreciate your support, songs, prayers, and words of hope and encouragement at this time. 


On Monday, February 4, Jerry was getting ready to go volunteer and drive a patient to Rochester for her series of appointments.  It was a very icy morning in Red Wing, so he went outside to put sand on the driveway.  Mom (Mary) was inside the house getting ready to join him for the trip.  No one saw what happened but it is clear that he slipped on the ice, falling and hitting the back of his head on the pavement.  A girl walking her dog found him and went home to get her Dad.  They came back and helped him up just as Mom was coming out to check on him. Mom started asking him questions and he could answer them at first but as a few minutes passed, he became disoriented and couldn't remember what day of the week it was, significant names, etc.  Mom called 911 and he was transported to the ER in Red Wing, where they quickly decided he needed to be transported to St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester.  The helicopter wasn't available so they took him by ambulance.  Initial X-Rays and CT scans showed he fractured his skull and suffered a severe trauma to the front left side of his brain.  


We (Mary, Kathy, Sandi, and Kip) are with him in the Neuro ICU.

Newest Update

Journal entry by Kip Dooley

And thanks to Dina, another good friend of Dad's, for sharing this at his funeral:

"My name is Dina Fesler, and while it’ difficult to describe my relationship with Jerry, I would probably call it a “unique friendship”.

Backing up a bit—since I was little, I was always the family member considered a bit quirky, eccentric, unique. Constantly in motion, I joined lots of clubs, volunteered for everything, explored the world, and told long stories of my adventures. My family joked that they didn’t know where I came from.

About 20 years ago—at the gardening club meeting— I met Jerry. Meeting Jerry was like meeting a long-lost family member. Actually, just being around his energy and enthusiasm for life, as well as hearing his long, hilarious stories was like being with someone from my own species.  I thought “I totally get you!”

Jerry and I enjoyed getting together to swap our endless stories. He never tired of hearing about all the things I was into. And hearing Jerry’s adventures made me feel like a slacker.

I think the only thing more unique than people like Jerry and I, is people who can be married to people like Jerry and I. Mary reminded me of my husband Brad with their genuine happiness, laid back presence, and patience in listening to Jerry and I tell our long stories (sometimes more than once). The four of us became great friends.

But something I never talked much about was that I lost my own parents awhile back. One of the things that young adults often take for granted with our parents (especially when we’re out chasing our dreams) is those phone calls saying: “Why haven’t we seen you lately?” “When are you coming over?” “When are we getting together?” Not having this anymore left an empty space in my life.

I never totally understood why, but no matter how busy Jerry and Mary were, if more than three months went by without hearing from me, they would be calling, texting and emailing: “We have to get together! We haven’t seen you!” It’s like they knew what I needed, and they unofficially adopted me. They helped me I understand that family is about more than DNA. It’s about how we appreciate and interact with the ones we love.

So when my girls came into our lives—who actually are adopted— Jerry and Mary didn’t hesitate to make them their granddaughters too. From boat rides and picnics and pizza farms to birthday cards and sitting in the front row of their performances and presentations—I couldn’t ask for more amazing grandparents.

While we all know that Jerry is gone too soon, I feel so grateful for him teaching me what family is about—and how we can expand ourselves to include others who need our love. I also feel grateful for him teaching me that you can be a kid all your life—unapologetically! And for teaching me that being part of a unique and quirky species is a pretty cool thing."

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