"Most days don't feel like Good Friday or Easter Sunday; they feel like the day of uncertainty in between. Sometimes waiting feels like the hardest part of faith" - Bob Goff

Just a quick update friends.  Very thankful to be home and recovering.  The surgery went smoothly.  They did have to make a small incision, as they discovered that the mass was large enough that it had also enlarged the uterus.   The recovery time will be longer and the pain is more than originally expected - similar to after a c-section would be.   Thus far it is manageable, I just need to be sure to pace myself. 

I am experiencing a few of the discomforts of healing.  I have some significant bruising from the surgery and the IVs, along with some pretty uncomfortable itchiness.  It also takes some time for all of your systems to right themselves again, and giving my body time is important.

Please continue to pray for Dan and for the kids.  We are all experiencing some post crisis crash...understandable and expected but still hard.  We are so thankful to be past the parts we were most scared about - the surgery and the hospital stay.  But the aftermath is hard in another way.  These last years have been an ongoing journey of adjustment through seasons of healing and this does feel like a real "one step forward, many steps back" kind of situation to be back in a place where my mobility is affected, my limitations are again high, my body hurts and shows the signs of what I've gone through.   It is a lot for Dan to again step into that caregiver role, while also managing all the busyness of regular life AND of Easter weekend.

Thankful for the words of others that help process where we're at.  This post from Shauna Niequist speaks to this in between place that we find ourselves.

"One of the things I treasure most about my life as a Christian is the pairing of Good Friday and Easter, because it feels true to me, true to the human experience, true to the ache of life on this planet. Treasured things die, and also new life is all around us. Grief is real and piercing, and so is joy. 

I’m so grateful for a faith tradition that guides us through the wreckage of loss and death and also the celebration of resurrection and redemption. I don’t want a faith that sacrifices one for the other…all despair or all hallelujah. I need both, because my life is both. Because all our lives are both: a wild, beautiful mash-up of love and heartbreak, terror and beauty, hope and despair. That’s how it is to be a human on this earth, and I need a faith that’s durable enough to carry the weight of all of it. 

So there will be Easter—there always is. Spring always comes. 

But before the eggs and the joy and the celebration songs, today is a day for grief—thank God. Today is a day to hold your losses out in front of you with both hands, like the pieces of a beloved broken plate. It will never go back together—that’s how life is. This is what it is to be human."

Thank you friends for your continued prayers, for all of the messages checking in, for the offers of help and support.  In this beautiful, terrible reality of life in the middle, Jesus continues to carry us through. 

Happy Easter <3