I’ve had to apologize for some things I’ve said and done. This is a brutal disease. It

doesn’t care If you’re poor or a billionaire. We all handle challenges differently and more

so when your life is on the line. I feel that daily. . I’d like to ask everyone who reads this posting to forgive me. I’m sorry for not being the best I can be all the time. I do try the

best I know how.. Sometimes I get caught up in the tempest of the storm and can’t find

my way out of it, and into safe harbor. . The song today is Wild Horses sung By Mick

Jagger with Ronnie Wood and Keith Richards. I spent time with all of them and have

many funny stories to share about my dad taking me to my first concert being a Rolling Stones show and a party in Aspen during my college years where my dad greeted me at the door and turned me around, walked me back to my car and sent me home. The

Stones and my father shaped my life of fearlessness. My father is my hero. I am a reflection of him, for that I’m honored. I love my mom and dad. I wish they were here

with me on this night and journey. They are, but in a different way. I do feel their

presence, and sometimes I’m hear them guiding me from heaven. I’m not as good at fighting a life or death illness as I thought I’d be. I’d lived on the knife edge for the

majority of my life in motorsports or offshore ocean racing on sailboats where in both disciplines the design limits were tested and a failure would be catastrophic. My dozens upon dozens surgeries are a testament to that. This illness tests a person in many ways, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I’ll keep trying to be better. Today I found out I

might be cut open again before the fall. I don’t know if I have the fortitude to go through that again. Physically, yes I can. Mentally, I’m not sure. So as I write this I’m so ashamed from some people’s comments about my behaviors in the beginning of this journey, that

I want to make amends. Given that I’m going to see the neurosurgeon it looks like I’ll

have another new beginning before fall. I love so much about life and here is a bible

verse about love I want to share.

Since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another." ~ 1 John 4:11

This song today is about loyalty and love and I’m asking for it tonight I went unconscious twice today and that’s a bad sign. My friend Debra died of this and she went through this part too, one day she didn’t wake up, and now she’s in heaven. I’m not ready for that. When I died 931days ago tonight the one thing I remember telling the lord was that I

have to return as I still things to teach my children. I then awoke and a week had passed. Since I did get to touch heaven my faith is paramount to me. Lesson 1 I returned from heaven with was. There are no accidents. So this is the journey I’m supposed to be on. Thank you dad and mom for providing this message through this beautiful song. It gave

me hope tonight I love that you’re still teaching and guiding me from heaven❤️❤️. God

bless everyone. Have a wonderful end of the week🙏🙏 little Layla is snoozing as I finish his. She says goodnight 🐾🐾. Be well. I love you all. I miss those of you I haven’t spoken to or seen for a while. Thank you all for walking with me and allowing me to share this

grand adventure 🙏🙏 the video and lyrics are perfect for an imperfect period tonight. I’m a bit scared and to have my folks reassurance helps me. I’m so grateful for the hope and love they provide daily. I live in joy for their lighting of my path God bless you all on this Easter week. Sending all my love to you ❤️❤️🙏🙏 Goodnight