I haven't posted anything here in a long time but I want to start writing again. Writing has always made me feel better. If I am feeling happy, I like writing because I can express gratitude and magnify my feeling. If I am feeling sad, writing is like getting whatever is making me feeling sad out of me. 

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore but that's okay because I am sure that nothing that I write will be new to anyone, but here is how I felt today:  It's been a little bit of an emotional day. I hadn't played tennis since beginning of August, my tennis elbow got really bad and I had decided to take a break but today our 3.5 team needed someone to play and offered to play. I played single and lost to a very nice young girl. It was okay though, I had a good match and had some great points but was so inconsistent and couldn't close the games. 

I think the best thing about playing tennis, other than the exercise, is the sense of belonging. Every human being likes to have a sense of belonging and lately and being on a team makes me feel that I belong somewhere. 

I love playing and the feeling of not being able to play more often makes me sad. Tennis was the one thing that no matter how bad I felt in other areas of my area, I was always happy playing tennis. 

I also got covid tested today as some of my close friends have been tested positive recently. It was negative for me. 

I have at least two close friends (one is a friend and the other is the son of one of my agents) in critical condition at the hospital dealing with covid. This is horrible thing and I just wish it would go away. 

I also have had some people from the past coming back to my life, I don't what God's plans are, but it got me confused, I am not sure what do or how to respond to it. I think God is testing me and what I really should do is to just be nice and politely let them know that their time has passed and I have moved on. 

:) Jana