It’s been a month today since Jim died. While we struggle to make sense of things and even to believe that he is truly gone, we are being gentle with ourselves and with each other. At times it is tough to believe that it has been a month, but at the same time it feels like a lifetime ago since the accident. I have had mountains of paperwork and now I’m looking at the daunting task of Thank You notes and realize that it’s going to take a while. I made the mistake of tossing envelopes so I will have to retrieve addresses. If I forget you, please forgive me. We were keeping a great list before Jim died, but then things just got away from us in the dark days after his surgery. I would like to publicly acknowledge that we are so grateful to all of you for carrying us through this difficult time. It is unbelievable and quite remarkable how much support we have received. We have received delivery after delivery since Nov. 1 - meals, gift cards, plants, flowers, groceries, gift baskets, coffee, wine, goody bags. The night Jim died, dear friends lit our driveway with luminaries as we came home without him that first evening. The kids’ friends were so kind and thoughtful too - beautiful jewelry pieces, a canvas, a bench, a huge plant and very thoughtful lantern with candle and Jim’s picture. Gabi’s friends also created a cross luminary in the front of the house. We were given a beautiful chime by Jim’s siblings that we hear constantly, reminding us of him often. And the stories!—great emails, letters and cards with inspirational stories, ways he touched others’ lives or funny narratives of Jim’s antics. We even received a book filled with stories from the hospital.  I think most importantly, are the prayers, the prayer circles, novenas, rosaries and the masses that have been offered for us and for Jim. Before he died, a friend had a year of masses for healing offered and Gabi said, that healing will now be for us. So true! 

I believe that since March and the initial lockdown & shutdowns, many of us, myself included, have lived very solitary lives and it’s almost as if we are fine without others, and I even became a bit hermit like. I was okay with it. I know others that felt the same way. I tried to embrace the quiet and lack of hustle and bustle and we lived more simply. I honestly did not complain that much. I had a houseful, and other than a lot of extra cooking which I usually enjoyed, I tried to see the good in the pandemic. I knew that the extra time with the kids was bonus time. We did weird, creative and out of the ordinary type things. We sat around together in the evenings A LOT! Anyway, I think my point is that of course family is always number one, but we still do need others and the last six weeks has been a testimony to how much others can impact your life. Trust me when I say, how overwhelming everyone’s thoughtfulness and generosity has been. Hearing from people that we have totally lost touch with was very meaningful. We even heard from people that had never met us. People are so kind and so beautiful!!! At the end of the day, this is all that matters. 

While the holidays will look different and we are not even going to pretend that this is going to be easy, we will plod through and reinvent our traditions. Jim LOVED Christmas, and it was a bit “over the top” around here lately. We are going for quiet and simple. Sunday’s sermon at church was about gratitude even during rough times. Although, it was more referring to 2020 & the pandemic, it spoke to me and refreshed my soul - in all things, give thanks! Thank you friends for all you have done and continue to do for us! Love, Sheila, Alex, Ben, Gabi, & Sam