Jim’s grave marker was installed on May 20, 2021, in Rosebud Cemetery at the corn of 8th Avenue and Rosebud Lane. His plot is situated such that he will never be crowded because there is a sprinkler line run on one side and a bench on the other. Unlike the cold and rainy day he was buried, it was sunny and beautiful, and I was surrounded by family. This was the first time I had seen the completed stone which was created at the Marble Art Gallery out of Colorado marble (used in the Lincoln Monument among others). I loved it! The carvers installed it with great care and respect while also having some fun. They suggested that our young grandchildren should put hand prints in the cement in which the stone was being set, and we had no objection from the cemetery employee…. only in small town America! He shall rest forever with those little hands of love. Other things that are perfect – he is close to me and family, the American flag is flapping overhead, mature trees are everywhere (which have come into full leaf since May 10), mountains surround him on every side, and he is in the shadow of the Golden Arches (McDonalds) where he loved to go for his morning vanilla latte and pancakes and afternoon milkshake.

     I have said that Rosebud was the perfect place not only because of everything I have already listed but because of what the word, “Rosebud” meant to Jim. Here is the rest of the story….

     We drove by this cemetery quite frequently and every time we did Jim would start whispering, “rossssssebuuuuud” numerous times. Why? It is the most famous line uttered in the movie, “Citizen Kane” which was written and produced by Orson Wells in 1941 and Jim’s all-time favorite movie as well as being the most-honored film in all of film history. When Charles Kane dies in the movie, he whispers, “rossssssebuuuuud” and no one understands the meaning or significance of the utterance. The first time I watched the movie with Jim, I never picked up on the reason and he had to rewind his old VCR tape and explain it. In flashbacks during the movie, Citizen Kane is shown having great fun sledding as a child. At the very end, they are disposing of his possessions creating a great fire when they come across his old sled and throw it on the burning heap. Only then does the observant viewer (which was not me) see that the sled is “Rosebud.” It was given to Charles Kane by his mother and represents childhood comfort, security and innocence. The assumed meaning of the whispered word is that Kane was recalling his happiest times. I believe we all have such heart-warming memories swimming in our head as life rolls to an end.

     And so shall this blog now roll to an end. There will be many more events in my life related to my years as the wife of James Nelson Fisher, Jr.—such an honor and gift from God. I do not believe any will be eventful enough to write about. Furthermore, I must move into the next volume of my life. The “Life with Jim” volume is now complete. As I understand it, Caring Bridge leaves the posts for a very long time so any of us can revisit the photos and stories I have told for some time to come.

     Words are not adequate to thank all the people who have supported Jim and me on this journey. Your kind words (in post, notes and in person), special trips to visit with him, food donations and hugs in spite of COVID have helped sustain me and lift me up. Just yesterday, a dear friend, Darrell, asked, “When did I miss Jim the most?” My quick response was, “Garbage day!”—true, witty, and nostalgic but definitely not the meaningful response anyone in the group was expecting. So many other times I miss him, but I have morphed from having those “missing him” moments and crumbling into a heap of sobbing waterworks to smiling and hearing him remind me not to forget certain trash cans, his unique laugh in the background as I lug the garbage can to the curb and see him smiling at me as I trudge back inside—often through blizzard, rain or on an icy drive. I guess that is the path of healing after the loss of a spouse—you go from crying over what you have lost to smiling and laughing about what you were lucky enough to have had. At least that appears to be my path and journey.

     I will sign off with wise words from my dear sweet momma (which I have already told so many people), “We are all going to die sooner or later. The later it gets, the sooner it is coming!”

     We shall always miss our JJ! Aloha!