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Journal

October
1
2020

October 01, 2020

Warning- I am sorry but this is not a warm and fuzzy update so if that’s what you want to see, you might want to stick to my Facebook posts. I finally got the pet scan and MRI of lumbar, thoracic and cervical results back. There were no real surprises, either good or bad. Everything that was already there is growing like a weed and I am not on any treatment so nothing is going to change that. Progressive new growth continues in the liver and symptoms of my liver beginning to fail like constant abdominal pain, distention and swelling from face to toes is in full force. There is no where throughout the spine that doesn’t have cancer at this point. In addition there are severel bulging discs in the cervical area that are causing so much pain that getting comfortable enough to sleep at all is a challenge. The pain throughout the spine is becoming intolerable, some days being a lot worse than others. It is crunch time and decisions need to be made. I have one more systemic treatment option in the immunotherapy which has not been shown to be very effective for my particular cancer but has in many other cancers. If I do it I am looking at combining it with some other adjuvant drugs and procedures that might help it work better. It’s definitely a last resort and I have not made up my mind about risk vs benefit, quality vs quantity yet. I feel the same way about the Y90 procedure. I think it could perhaps help with the pain from the liver as long as there are no complications during the procedure and immediately after. I have apts with every doctor involved in my care (including an interventional anesthesiologist who may be able to help with the bone pain) within the next week and once all opinions and information is gathered I will decide on the order of the next moves. One day at a time continues to be the only way to play. 

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Comments

  • Bob Thornton : Prayers continue for you and the family.
    10/2/20
  • Edwina Terman : Yes, one day at a time, sweet friend. 🙏❤
    10/2/20
  • Kevin Van Dyke : So sorry you are going through this. I continue to pray for a miracle for you.
    10/2/20
  • Judy Droste : Prayers, prayers, prayers coming your way. 😇🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏💙🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏😇
    10/2/20
  • Maria Parker : How awful Jacquie... thinking of you and praying for relief...
    10/2/20
  • kellie moylan : Oh Jacquie and John. And family. Peace be with you. Jackie thank you. You are a strong ass woman. Thank you for sharing
    10/1/20
  • Rubin Randel : Off the grid in Colorado but can’t stop thinking about you and John and the kids. We love you and are sure you’re going to make the best decision practicable. It’s our profound sorrow that we cannot be more “concretely helpful “. If love , sincere affection and unabashed, unconditional friendship can be helpful, We’re, gleefully, guilty . Love, Hugs and kisses ❤️❤️❤️✊✊✊
    10/1/20
  • Denise Daigle : 😢😢. We love you! Hope you find pain relief soon. ❤️❤️
    10/1/20
  • Liz Iten : I was up last night, not sleeping, and I thought of you and wanted to reach out. I just didn’t because I felt if you were up you were in pain and I didn’t want to bother you with trivial crap. But I do want you to know I think of you every single day. I pray for you every single day. I also bitch about you to the universe about how unfair this is for you and your family. I just want you to be pain free and that you choose whatever way that works for you. ❤️❤️🙏🏻🙏🏻
    10/1/20
  • Janie Handlin : Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I know that everyone who is following would join me in taking your pain if we could. If love were a cure, you would be set! Sending you so very much love ❤️
    10/1/20
  • Joy McNeil : Keeping you in our thoughts.
    10/1/20
  • DAVID SCHONBRUN : Jacquie, I hope your doctors are able to manage the pain so you can be present in your time left with John and the kids.
    10/1/20
  • Nan Sheldon-Martin : 💕Holding you in my thoughts and prayers sending much love to you all.
    10/1/20
  • Ronda Gensheimer : Thank you as always for sharing the good and the bad....sending endless love and prayers your way.
    10/1/20
  • Terri Gooch : I am sorry to hear about your high pain levels. Sending love and hope we can help carry some of that pain for you.
    10/1/20
  • Sandy Earl : Love and care and concern...and love.
    10/1/20
  • John Paonessa : If love and prayer can help , we are all sending it your way with all we got. We Love you, Jacquie ♥️
    10/1/20
  • Peggy Francis : So sorry to hear about the results - I will add more fervent prayers to those I know are being lifted up by all those who love and care about you. I pray God's comfort and peace surround you, and the decisions you have to make.
    10/1/20
  • Ihab Awad : Grateful to see both your FB feed and this. I am sorry you are in pain. You and John high achievers and driven people, as I am too, so I sort of understand -- I think.... I hope that you take time to just make yourself comfortable in whatever way you need to. Your legacy is secure. Heck, you have reached people like me who have only the most tenuous possible relationship to you and your family, and now I'm following your profiles on FB and here and clicking as soon as I see an update. You are respected and admired for your achievements by even the most distant people. You have nothing to prove. Be well and take care, whatever it is you decide. I and many others will be here. You are not alone. One day at a time seems like just about right.
    10/1/20