With the sale of their home finalized, we are closer to applying to Medicaid so my parents can continue to receive the 24/7 care that they need. When my parents asked me three or so years ago to be their financial and healthcare POA it retrospect I believe my dad was keenly aware that he was declining quickly and that he was also aware that mom was struggling. I didn't want the job. It has been painful to watch their decline. Making decisions on their behalf is soul crushing and difficult. Most days they do not know who I am, unless they have been prompted. Getting their affairs in order has been impossibly time consuming and challenging. I have found little things that my dad has left behind, like a note to me tucked away in a book, to direct me for their funeral planning.
Thank heavens my mom continues to do well at the Laurels of Gahanna and my dad is settling in to Arbors at Stow. They both continue to decline cognitively and have sundowning behaviors almost every afternoon, but this has been ongoing for the last couple years or so. Medication and staff that can redirect, has helped tremendously.
Dementia is unkind, cruel, unfair and does not look like the happy couples shown on dementia websites or in dementia brochures. The look of unknowing and emptiness has replaced the smiles that are few and far between. The agitation is a real challenge for my dad, but this is common with vascular dementia patients. My mom remembers her childhood and young adult years, but struggles with the last 60 years. I am happy they are safe and have the care they both need, but this isn't a journey I wish to see them on. It is quite simply tragic.
If anyone would like to send them a letter, let me know and I can get your their addresses.
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