Jack’s Story

Site created on May 13, 2020

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Journal entry by Jamie Szabadi

My dearest friends and family,

I continue to struggle daily with the enormous loss of the love of my life, my beloved Jack. On the one hand, I still find it hard to believe that it has been four months since he left his body, left this earth as we know it. On the other hand it seems like yesterday and I find myself expecting him to come home, to call, to be here with me, to hold me, hug me, kiss me and tell me not to worry, that everything will be OK. He was my rock and we seemed to balance each other out. We helped each other move more towards the middle of both of our extremes. My heart breaks, I miss him beyond belief. Everything reminds me of him, I have never felt more alone.

I try every day to be positive and remember all the amazing years we shared together. I have pictures everywhere of  him, with his wonderful smile, that impish grin and his upbeat, happy and positive nature that made everyone love him and want to be in his presence. I have a small rock my girlfriend Patty painted with his name on it, I carry it in my pocket. I am beyond grateful to have had him in my life. He was truly a blessing.

This year I pray that my friends and family, people I know and people I do not know will be inscribed in the Book of Life. May the people around the world not have to experience the suffering we have experienced. I ask for your forgiveness if you have felt wronged or upset by me or by something you felt I did or did not do, I whole heartedly apologize.

I'm not sure why today is the day. Is it because we are between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? A time of reflection, spirituality, a time to share our sadness and share our hopes for the future? Today I'm sharing his funeral service. I know I promised this a long time ago. My son, Zack, put in an enormous amount of time and effort editing and repairing the very poor quality of the original video and adding subtitles too. It is about an hour long. I know if we were not in the middle of a pandemic, many of you would have been able to attend his service and then gathered here together afterward to share our memories of his kind, gentle and loving soul, our dear sweet wonderful Jack! Someday, when this pandemic is over and we are able to gather in person safely again, I will host a "Celebration" of his life and we can all share our stories of Jack, what he meant to us and how he changed our lives forever!!  May he rest in peace ❤️

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