Hi Friends,

It has been a long time since I have written here. There've been plenty of moments where I've wondered whether to write a grateful farewell-see-you-on-email post, or at least share how I'm doing, even though the post would have basically been of the status-quo variety.

First let me say that I don't have big news--simply a bit of an update. A little over a week ago, I had my semi-annual sonogram (and took pictures of the tulips on the walk home :-). The results came back last Tuesday (the very next morning), calling attention to an area on my left breast that was deemed "suspicious." For those of you who know the BI-RADS rating system, this was rated a 4 of 5, which was the same rating I was given close to 5 years ago when the diagnosis was cancer. That said, this does not mean the finding is necessarily malignant. Only a rating of 5/5 is given when the finding is considered certain to be cancer, and I bet that's not even accurate 100% of the time.

Of course, a lot went through my mind and heart that morning. Fortunately, I had an important group facilitation to lead and a flight to see my family that same day, so I had plenty of positive "pulls" on my focus and didn't wind up spiraling too far into fixating on what I don't really know yet and certainly can't control. I texted my family so that, before I arrived, they would be aware of the findings and my not wanting to talk about it just yet. I didn't want to have to tell them face-to-face and make the first part of our big holiday get together about the results or my next steps. They have been amazing at letting me know they support my wishes and choices and that they are here for me, in whatever way I need, whenever I am ready. I am incredibly blessed and hope that each of you have families, by birth or choice, that are as supportive and loving of you.

Being together physically, in the same space, has been wonderful. We are enjoying our time and somehow managing to juggle remote working and quality time together. This has been an especially exciting time for me, professionally, with several work meetings that, strange as it may sound to some, have also been a source of joy.

All of the above has come in handy because it took a few days for my surgeon and I to finally connect. We spoke on Friday afternoon and discussed my options, just as I was about to try bouldering with my nephew at the local rock climbing club here. I was SO happy I did not miss his call! In the days before and since, I've reached out to most of my doctors (we also want to follow up on some other areas), and some of the incredible women I've met through breast cancer circles. Tests and treatments are constantly evolving, and I intend to be proactive with diagnostics.

My doctor said there is no need to cut my trip short, and we are in the process of scheduling what we can for when I return. My flight lands early evening on May 13th and I'll be in the Bronx the next morning to undergo tests. I'm optimistic and more settled within myself than I was this time a week ago. I appreciate your love, happy wishes, and support. I have a big, fun summer that has been in the works for months, and I promise to update you here on any developments when I know more.

In the meantime, I plan to focus on my resilience and my time here in Florida. Just the other day, I was exercising on a pavilion and enjoying my post-workout stretch in the fresh air when I looked down to see an unexpected workout partner...(look closely between the floorboards in the photo). You can't make this stuff up. I've also enclosed the beautiful tulips I photographed on my way home from the sonogram, as well as one of the many spectacular flowering trees I saw at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens just a few days before. Most of the family photos were taken by others, so only part of our merry band is visible in these...more to come!
Much love and thanks,
Ilene