Journal entry by Hope Ettore —
Today is infusion #7 of 16 and week #11 of 20. This means I’ve officially crossed the halfway mark (timewise) of chemo. YAY!
I spent the weekend horizontal with fever, pain, nausea and anemia. It was awful. Time seemed to stand still. I know I must have looked at the clock a hundred times per day, waiting for the opportunity for the next medication dose and to go to sleep.
The weekly cycle pretty much works this way: I get an infusion on Tuesday, I start getting sick on Wednesday, it gets really bad Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and I wake up on Monday feeling a lot better. Then Tuesday starts it over again. So, I LOVE Mondays, at least for the next 10 weeks, ha ha.
So, what do I do (besides stare at the clock) to help endure and pass the time? Reading can be difficult, but I often attempt it. (I like nonfiction if you have any recommendations.) I try, usually in vain, to find something on Netflix. I reminisce on happy memories in my mind. I imagine what it would be like to visit Italy, (hopefully this will happen for our 25th anniversary next year!) And I envision what it will be like in heaven, at the throne of God, consumed by His presence.
And I pray. Nothing formal. Just bare, often inarticulate prayers. I know He hears me.
But I don’t say all this so that you will feel bad for me. Suffering is working good things within me. It works good things in all of us, if we allow it. Romans 5:3 says, “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance.” I look forward to the fruit of what is being worked in me through this trial!
And then Monday comes. It always does.
Planning for Longevity,
Hope