"On each fresh occasion of combat, when the enemy desires to challenge me, I conduct myself valiantly: knowing that to fight a duel is an unworthy act, I turn my back upon the adversary without ever looking him in the face; then I run to my Jesus and tell Him I am ready to shed every drop of blood in testimony of my belief that there is a Heaven, I tell Him I am glad to be unable to contemplate, while on earth, with the eyes of the soul, the beautiful Heaven that awaits me so He will deign to open it for eternity to poor unbelievers."
Story of A Soul, Chapter IX- St Therese The Little Flower
This was my mantra while there. I turned my back on this disease and I turned toward Jesus each step of the way. I put it in His hands knowing that he has me- That whether I live or die I knew he has me. One of the visions He gave me was during the MRA. The MRA is a long tube that they put you in. Some people get claustrophobic inside. I didn’t have that problem, thank goodness. But whilst inside, you hear these drumming sounds from the machine. It kinda makes a rhythm. Anyway, I was hearing these sounds and my mind began to float and pictures came before my eyes. One picture was of an elephant’s eye opening and closing. The eye was kind. I saw strength exude from it. The next vision was of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. The Sea was piled high on both sides and Miriam was playing her tambourine. And the third was of Elijah and the prophets of Baal when he douses the alter with water and God’s alter lights up while the Baals do not. These visions reminded me that God has got this. His quiet strength and love guide me each step of the way. . Miracles do happen. And as I have said before...miracles are so much more than healings or relief from suffering. The miracle is that even through the suffering there is love. Does that mean we just “ let it be” and not fight for life?- of course not! Always fight for life. But fight for it with love and know that we already have life with Jesus.