On Monday I had my (hopefully) final surgery. It was basically revisions to get everything all tied up and even. My reconstruction plastic surgeon is pretty incredible. Dr. Stephen Madry & Clare are a great team and have always made me feel comfortable. It's kind of funny. At first, I was always just so concerned with making sure the cancer was gone, but they really worked hard to restore a sense of femininity and wholeness.  While I just wanted to chop off my boobs and be done with it, they helped me through the tough decision of reconstruction to restore my body to where I would actually be comfortable. I'm only 43, and I survived stage 3 breast cancer, so now I deserve to have new breasts that look and feel natural.  I also had a fat transfer, which basically means he took fat (LIPO!) from my sassy love handles and injected it into the top of my chest to even everything out. I guess that's a win-win situation if I've ever heard of one!

I'm pretty sore. The lipo sites really are tender - that's not an easy recovery for sure! I also had a large dog ear removed from my back when I had the original latisimus flap transfer and I'm glad that's gone. I guess I thought that this surgery was a want, but not a need. Now that it's done, I see just how important it was for my sense of going forward as a survivor. I feel much more whole and complete. I feel like a little more of my sense of femininity has been restored. I needed some convincing, and I'm so glad I followed their advice.

Now I'm continuing to take Aromasin (exemestane), a cancer maintinence drug, which supresses all estrogen production in my body. This stuff sucks, not gonna lie, and I have to take it for the next 5-10 years. It gives me pretty bad joint pain, hot flashes, night sweats, and serious pain in my hands. My knuckles are swollen with arthritis and they look like sausages! I think I have to get my favorite ring enlarged because I really miss wearing it. But, that's a small price to pay in the plan to keep cancer from coming back.

It's been a long year. From my first questionable mamogram in December 2017, to the official diagnosis in April 2018. From months of chemotherapy the summer of 2018, then my radical mastectomy and latisimus flap reconstruction November 2018, followed up by an additional surgery to remove a few more positive lymph nodes.  After that, daily radiation in 2019 from January to March. An exchange surgery in June, and this week was my revision surgery.  I just keep hoping that I'm finally finished, and the light seems to be finally shining through.

None of this could have been possible without the support of so many people. My friends and colleagues, stepping up helping with plans and lessons, and just provided love and humor. My family, siblings, inlaws, godparents....so many people... always looking out for me, even from afar. My sons who helped me, even when they were scared and worried, always trying to stay positive when they weren't used to seeing their mom need so much help.  Any of course, Tommy. The best partner and friend I could have ever hoped for. I was blessed when he came into my life, and it's been 21 years of marriage. The last year and a half has been pretty miserable at times, but I can honestly say we've laughed through a lot of it. That kept it so much easier. I can't even imagine how I'd have gotten through it without him. 

At the end of the day, I realize how blessed and lucky I have been throughout this entire process. I've been so supported and loved, and that truly made the difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.