2 years ago today, we said our final goodbyes and see ya later's as we laid you to rest.  It has not gotten easier as they said it would, but some days are better than the rest.  I wrote this poem the other night on one of those not so good nights, as I was sitting in bed, unable to sleep as the thoughts in my head wouldn't stop.  I had seen earlier in the day that the fundraiser for the Junior Prom was going to be this week and it brought out all the feels of the what could have been and what will never be.   A friend suggested I share it with the world so that it may help others with their journey as well.  These are raw emotions, not the feel good kind, not the kind of stuff I usually share because the fear of judgement. These are usually kept safe in my notebook, then stuffed into another book where they can't be seen.  So here it is, I hope it helps show others that these thoughts are normal, and feeling this is not something to be ashamed of... something I am working on. 😌

 A mother's love never ends, as long as the memory is still there, so is her love.

PS. I'll keep trying to write on that book 💗

January 19, 2024

These voices inside my head are so loud, I can't get them out.

I rehearse the conversation in my brain before the words even come out.

Am I crazy, who would want to listen to me, why would I think that.. 

Who wants the mom of the dead boy at prom, why remind us of what went wrong? 

Can I please be a part of the memory, it's all i have left.. my boy is gone, but yours is left.

All I want is one more night, to remember, to pretend it's alright.

Prom is a milestone, one for the books, it makes a mom proud to know where he got his looks 💜

Graduation is around the corner, say it isn't so, another memory come and gone, my heart can't take it any more

Time is supposed to make it easier they say, but time is what is taking you farther away.

Farther from this world, farther from our memories.

If only we could have saved you, time wouldn't have to hurry. 

~ XOXO Love Mom ~