Journal entry by heather weisel —
Update: On her most recent follow up with trauma & neurology, we had great news! The doctors are not concerned with her ventricle size & she will not be needing a shunt!!! They feel that the CT scans now are showing her baseline, and the initial ones taken right after her accident showed so much swelling that it made the ventricles look smaller than they actually are. We are feeling so much gratitude & relief with this news, it is an unbelievable answer to prayer! She continues on her journey, with five therapy sessions a week for strength (PT- her left side is currently 50% weaker than her right); and cognitive (speech) therapies. Good thing she's a fighter, and she's getting stronger every day.
Verse of the Day: Psalm 16:8-11
I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will rest secure, because you will not abandon me.
You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Song: Goodness of God ~ Jen Johnson
Requests: Continued progress & healing of body & brain
Finding Joy in the Journey
We have been reflecting on the past eight weeks, and we are overwhelmed with gratitude - for the complete mercy of God & the gift of not needing a shunt; as well as for others- our friends & family & even strangers we have yet to meet, everyone that showed up for us in hundreds of ways of support & encouragement & providing exactly what we needed, even when we didn't even know what we needed! The ways that you all showed up was amazing- too many to name, and we are beyond moved and eternally grateful for every act of kindness. For the lavish generosity of gifts and cards and words of encouragement and acts of service, we are humbled. In the past, gratitude would usually lead me to joy. But yet, I couldn't put my finger on why I was still struggling with joy. Grace's speech therapist had said the three elements she needed to progress were time, therapy, and practice. And yet here I was frustrated, feeling like I'm circling back to the same uncertainties I thought I had worked through already- things I will most likely not have answers to this side of eternity. The why's, the injustice, and the future unknowns. And then I was reminded of Psalm 16:11. 'You make known to me the path of life'- you give me what I need to know for this moment and that is enough. The root of the unknowns is fear, and fear never leads to peace, only worry & anxiety. The only way there (to peace) is to sit in his presence. To circle back to the truths- His words & His promises. To learn to listen to Him, and not just talk. That takes time (oh, that again), and practice (a rhythm of structure & mindfulness). The same elements Grace needs to progress and heal. The present circumstantial truths are that Grace is alive, she is walking and talking and making amazing progress in her therapies. I started telling myself some of the things I share and walk through my patients with- Focus on progress, not perfection. What am I feeling? What do I need? I should be feeling/doing... ah don't should on yourself! I'm just applying what I preach in a different circumstance. I love control! The same ruminations. And the second half of the verse spoke to me, 'you will fill me with joy in your presence.' As I pray & wrestle & cry & listen to him, I find peace. Sometimes after 10 minutes, sometimes after two hours. Why is my heart glad? Because verse 10 tells us one of those promises, 'I will rest secure because you will not abandon me.' I can trust Him, because He is right there with me the entire time. What a comfort to know that he will never abandon me! Sometimes I write out His promises that I need to be reminded of so that the next time I circle back to those thoughts, I can speak them over my doubts. Today's 3 promises: He is sovereign, He has a plan for her life, and He will never abandon us. I can rest in that truth, and that brings me both peace and joy in the journey.
Verse of the Day: Psalm 16:8-11
I keep my eyes always on the Lord. With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will rest secure, because you will not abandon me.
You make known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
Song: Goodness of God ~ Jen Johnson
Requests: Continued progress & healing of body & brain
Finding Joy in the Journey
We have been reflecting on the past eight weeks, and we are overwhelmed with gratitude - for the complete mercy of God & the gift of not needing a shunt; as well as for others- our friends & family & even strangers we have yet to meet, everyone that showed up for us in hundreds of ways of support & encouragement & providing exactly what we needed, even when we didn't even know what we needed! The ways that you all showed up was amazing- too many to name, and we are beyond moved and eternally grateful for every act of kindness. For the lavish generosity of gifts and cards and words of encouragement and acts of service, we are humbled. In the past, gratitude would usually lead me to joy. But yet, I couldn't put my finger on why I was still struggling with joy. Grace's speech therapist had said the three elements she needed to progress were time, therapy, and practice. And yet here I was frustrated, feeling like I'm circling back to the same uncertainties I thought I had worked through already- things I will most likely not have answers to this side of eternity. The why's, the injustice, and the future unknowns. And then I was reminded of Psalm 16:11. 'You make known to me the path of life'- you give me what I need to know for this moment and that is enough. The root of the unknowns is fear, and fear never leads to peace, only worry & anxiety. The only way there (to peace) is to sit in his presence. To circle back to the truths- His words & His promises. To learn to listen to Him, and not just talk. That takes time (oh, that again), and practice (a rhythm of structure & mindfulness). The same elements Grace needs to progress and heal. The present circumstantial truths are that Grace is alive, she is walking and talking and making amazing progress in her therapies. I started telling myself some of the things I share and walk through my patients with- Focus on progress, not perfection. What am I feeling? What do I need? I should be feeling/doing... ah don't should on yourself! I'm just applying what I preach in a different circumstance. I love control! The same ruminations. And the second half of the verse spoke to me, 'you will fill me with joy in your presence.' As I pray & wrestle & cry & listen to him, I find peace. Sometimes after 10 minutes, sometimes after two hours. Why is my heart glad? Because verse 10 tells us one of those promises, 'I will rest secure because you will not abandon me.' I can trust Him, because He is right there with me the entire time. What a comfort to know that he will never abandon me! Sometimes I write out His promises that I need to be reminded of so that the next time I circle back to those thoughts, I can speak them over my doubts. Today's 3 promises: He is sovereign, He has a plan for her life, and He will never abandon us. I can rest in that truth, and that brings me both peace and joy in the journey.
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