Dear Friends and Family,

This will be my final, rather lengthy, entry talking about Grace. I can tell you that in the 100+ days since she went home, I have had tears every single day.  My heart went with her, knowing she's now beyond the pain of earthly struggle. I just miss her so much. It was a long battle for both of us, and for me, the pain very much continues.

We will have an interment, or burial service, for her on October 23 at Elm Ridge Cemetery, on the road between New Brunswick and Princeton, New Jersey. There, my mother's side of the family has a farm across Route 27 and half a mile northeast. I have 300 years of family interred there, and will be there with Grace one day. The reception for this family gathering will be at the Suydam-Skillman farms, in the farmhouse which has been in our family all these years, one of the very oldest family farm operations in America, hosted by my cousins Robin (with husband Paul) and her brother Ryck Suydam.

I took Grace's cremains there on a one month pilgrimage driving across the country to visit friends, family, potential churches at which I was candidating. There were a number of churches and missions in consideration, and at the end, I felt called to stay here in California. Our three daughters are here, along with 30 years of many deep and enduring friendships. San Gabriel Presbyterian Church, of the Evangelical Covenant Order (ECO) is a Chinese congregation, all English speakers. Grace I spent most of our years working with Asians and Asian-Americans, so it seems like a good fit. I will begin the week after Grace's service in New Jersey, and I felt Grace smiling at this new calling. There, I believe God has called me to do something quite new in American churches, transform their small groups into missional communities.

During the next month I will be continuing to go through Grace's belongings, finish up financial and legal matters, and prepare to move out of our house here in Norco, California. We have lived here since 2006, and conducted our several ministries from here, including hosting many students and teachers from Asia.  Sorting through Grace's treasures, her business papers and writings, and closing this chapter of family life isn't easy, but part of moving on. 

In case you were not able to join us for Grace's June memorial service, below is the brief summary of her life, my monograph was in the bulletin-handout that day.  And before doing so, thank you again, to all of you who supported us with cards, calls, and financial help during her final months and since. We have all been encouraged. In a discipleship session this past week we looked at Jonah's chapter two prayer of thanksgiving while in the belly of that great fish. Surely we give thanks and we give praise at all times. I am so grateful to have had a Proverbs 31 woman in my life for nearly 40 years.

Much Love,

Matt Soeter

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Grace Mihei Kim Soeter (October 5, 1960-June 6, 2021) 

            Grace Mihei Kim was born after her father left for America to pursue his doctorate. Her mother followed a few years later, and then Grace (age six) with her older brothers joined them and their new baby sister. Her father was a physics professor at Barton College in Wilson, North Carolina. They were the only Asian family in this small town, where they were loved and well known. Grace, known to be quiet and studious, had many happy memories growing up there. She practiced piano for hours and sang solos at their church, leading to her major in voice and piano at Meredith College.

Just before her senior year, she attended The National Music Camp at Interlochen, Michigan. There she met me, Matt, and I was quickly charmed and quite smitten. I was her first boyfriend, I was happy to hear later. Just starting seminary, I waited two years for her to finish college and then spend a year with her parents, who had returned to Korea. That third year I continued my pursuit,  following her all the way to California, to attend Fuller Seminary with her. A year later we were married in Pasadena, California on a July afternoon in 1985.

At Fuller, Grace graduated summa cum laude with an M.Div. in theology and an emphasis on cross-cultural studies. She loved the missionaries she met there. Together, Matt and Grace served as interns at Chinese Evangelical Free Church where they made many lifelong friends. Grace, passing all her ordination exams, used her skills in ministry everywhere they went. She was a pastor, teacher, and mentor to many.

After graduation we lived in Highland Park for three years, 1988-1991, where we were part of a Korean church plant called Gloria Baptist. Grace led the children’s ministry, and together we grew a modest youth and young adult congregation. In 1990, just four days after her 30th birthday, Karissa was born. The second half of her life would be dedicated to motherhood:  homeschooling, endless crafts, games, and music with the three girls. Karissa, Natalie, and Serena are her great love, pride, and joy.

During 1991-1997, Grace and I served at Grace Reformed Church, in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. She joked, “This church was named for me.” In so many ways she lived up to her name. Natalie arrived in 1993, and Serena, in 1996. Though all three pregnancies were difficult, characteristic of Grace, she never complained.

In 1997 we returned to California to pastor at Chino Valley Reformed Church. In 2000, Grace was diagnosed with lupus, which was life-threatening. At 40, she faced a life expectancy of ten years. Her cure, Juice Plus, recommended by Dr. John Soeter, Matt’s father, was life changing. Experiencing the health benefits firsthand, and seeing it in the whole family, Juice Plus became a passion for Grace. “Fruit and vegetable concentrates in a capsule,” was only the start of her health journey, and as a “health educator.”

Forming a non-profit, Healthy Families International, Grace and a small team of dear friends visited dozens of schools in Southern California. They educated about the benefits of whole foods and dangers of processed foods. Grace also continued her distributorship of Juice Plus, and built a knowledgeable team, among her closest friends for years.

Like her parents, Grace was an educator. She loved researching, learning, and passing on what she had learned. She never stopped learning and growing, right to the end.

In 2008, sensing a need in Christian high schools, Matt and Grace began contracting to develop international student programs via their group, My American School, LLC. Grace had a natural compassion and empathy for our Asian internationals, since her family immigrated to the US back in 1966. She was key in unlocking the cultural barriers which came between the Americans and Asian students in the school and homestay settings. For about 10 years we had up to four international high school students living at Abba House. Grace had excellent organizational and administrative skills, so her staff, including Lily Zhou Ivy, Linda Storm, and others, were able to bless hundreds of students, their host families, and schools.

One of Grace’s biggest projects over the past decade was her California Adventure summer camp. It grew to more than 400 annual Chinese students, with Christian host families to accommodate them, classes, recreation, and outings. Along with Debi Solomon, her partner, these camps were a huge success, and blessed so many.

Grace first noticed her breast cancer during camp in 2019. She was so busy with camp; it wasn’t diagnosed until that fall. Characteristically, she was full of faith and confidence that as with lupus, the cancer could be defeated. As she was diagnosed, she redoubled her efforts with JuicePlus, and enrolled in her long-anticipated Doctor of Ministry program at Fuller Seminary.

Although her dreams of completing her degree and reaching National Marketing Director were not fulfilled, Grace was unbowed to the end. She continued studying and working whenever possible. Her last two themes with her spirituality studies, were “learn to listen – to God and people,” and “let go.” She coached all of us on letting go, even as she herself was letting go of life. Once again, she graduated with honors as she passed on from this life to heaven. We are honored to celebrate her, remember her, and cherish our lovely Grace.