So Dec 18th has finally arrived and Ii get to go back to Iowa City to get the MRi and Ultrasound – I say this as on my portal Dr S posted results from the CD and all though it said nothing different than what FMCH had posted other than they agree (she did say the images were not specifically clear in identifying the mass etc…..) –But  Dr S said and I quote “ Breast MRI is recommended given the posterior location of the mass  left axillary ultrasound if clinically indicated can be scheduled after breast mri if mri is scheduled” and pretty much the same thing addressing the right breast – contradicting what is being said, I read it as they sched the MRI and the US – so BG and are off to Iowa city and we arrive Ramp 4 level 4 C and once in the hosp we are lost, not only lost but what seems like miles from where we should be (you would think on the appt postal they would tell you what parking lot and elevator to go to not  just Breast imaging…  )So we finally find where we are to go and check in – I tell them the MRI and US, they know nothing of the US – but at this point, I don’t really care – so we sit and maybe 5 min later they call me in – Butch has to stay in the waiting room – so I go with the gal and I don’t know what this all entitles other than an MRI on my belly rather than the typical back MRI  - they provide me with a gown and pants, neither which was the color I wanted, but they have sizes by color, first time I wished I was about 50lbs heavier – they then point me to a cubby hole and tell me to take off everything opening in front and the gal says you can leave on the cowboy boots if you want and I was like cool, they would add a little pizazz to this contraption they call stylish, so I did, I looked like a misguided rodeo clown  - but a proud one, tried to take a picture put I just couldn’t get the head to toe (I may post what I have if I didn’t delete it)  - then I am to take my belongings and lock in a locker and hold on to that key – so I pick locker 9 – ( for September when I was born (was not much left so it made sense at that time) – I go sit and start reading magazines about retirement – retirement something that I planned on in less than 2.5 years – now what will I do, if I have to be on meds for 5 years that takes me to 62 and that means 5 more years of work, how the fuck did this ever come into my plan.  I am pissed – Finally they call me in and the first thing they want to do is take my key – the key I am to hold on to??  Jokingly I say NO, the sign said, and  she says the Magnet in the MRI with toss that key across the room, tried to tell me the magnet would take a paperclip at 35mph – I wanted to see that – then they see the boots, no they are not steeled toes nor do they have metal, but they suggest I remove them simply because they may have staples or nails, I assured them I had no paper clip but I just to appease them I would take them off (not knowing I too thought it might be safer) – so I now get to expose these baby’s as they put me chest first on the mri table and like oversized bottomless cupcake holders they (it took 2) place my boobs into this open pocket and let them hang, now I know what the meaning of SAG really is.   hell If I had 3 more I might qualify as a wind mill if there was a draft – they messed with my boobs for a while and gave me a headset so I could listen to music – I asked that they don’t play xmas music and what did I get right off the bat, xmas country music  - shortly afterwards I was drug out as I had to be realigned (mess with the boobs a lil more and sent back into the oven),  So the oven was like a washing machine – it started out at first quiet and had a lil sluggish noise, then it sounded just as if I was in a wash cycle, slushing back and forth, back and forth then I went into and I am not making this up the drain and rinse cycles, that it exactly how it sounded – this all went on for maybe 20 min then I know you’re thinking what I was the spin cycle, nope we skipped that I was in unbalanced mode, so much that it sounded as if someone just opened an AK47 up and shot 30, 40, 50 clips of 3o rounds each just bang bang bang bang that I think lasted longer than the wash cycles it was crazy then dead silence…  I waited and actually started to doze off when the door opened and I was done, I asked to be put back in the oven for another 10 min as I was a little on the rare side (they didn’t get it)  - it was over – I even tried to get them to do that paperclip trick and they still wouldn’t L - so I was told to get dressed (got my key back) and then I was free to go.  But wait, I asked if they knew anything about the ultrasound, they didn’t, so I showed them the portal and they went to check with the front desk.  While they did that I got dressed and when I was done they said the front desk would speak with me.  I went out and there he was, my husband, sound asleep mouth wide open snoring.  I went over to wake him and he didn’t wake, some guy lidding looked at me and laughed, so I went to the front desk instead – They had nothing but was checking.  Finally they came back and said they would need to sched me for the US and they would call me but not today.  GOD, why can’t I get all of the stuff I need at the same freaking time……  so I went back to sleeping beauty and once he woke up I told him what was going on and told him to read this paper I had while I did something, when suddenly my phone rang.  It was the gal from the US place, asked if I could be there at 2 pm, said the dr’s could just come back – YES. My kinda gal.. OF COURSE I will be there.  It’s 11 now, 2 pm, no problem (hell it would take us 3 hrs to find our way anyway.  So now we have 3 hrs to kill but it’s worth it