“Fill My Eyes with that Buffle Vision”

I’ve been writing about Gabby’s amazing life so that means looking back at the hard stuff, but I’m always floored by her simple faith and unshakeable spirit. She’s my hero in a lot of ways!

On her last morning Gab was feeling so much better, but a little loopy from the meds. She had had a lot of muscle pain the night before, and that morning Dave had accidentally given her Morphine and Ativan 15 minutes apart.

Here’s how we knew for sure that she’d been overmedicated: She and I were about to do our daily word puzzle game on our phones together. So I climbed in bed with her, and she said to me, “Let me just shut my phone. Something is wrong with my apps. They’re doubled for some reason.”

I was thinking, uh oh it’s the meds.

She shut her phone, and I gave her mine to look at something, and to make sure that it really wasn’t her phone. She said to me, “Your phone is double too!“

“It’s ‘cause Daddy accidentally gave you too much medication. It’s OK. They made the same mistake in the hospital and you were fine. It is messing with your vision. It will go away in a few hours.”

Little did I know that just a few hours later it would go away, not because the meds would wear off, but because she would be in the very presence of her Healer, the Lord Jesus Christ. She would be seeing perfectly because the bible says that when a believer leaves her body she is at home with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5). Just about four and a half hours later, she would not see in a glass darkly, dimly, or double, but face to face (I Corinthians 13). 

She said, “Maybe we will do the daily puzzle later. Let’s just sit here and talk.” 

Then she put her hand on mine, which was so precious to me because she wasn’t a very physically affectionate person during her teen years, and said, “Can you help me make sure I’m texting right? I can’t see good.”

Her friend Emily was supposed to come over around 1 o’clock that day and she was messaging her about it. Remarkably, most of what she wrote was fine, but instead of writing let’s play it by ear, she wrote let’s play by heart or something like that. I corrected it and we laughed about it. 

Apparently I missed a couple errors and I love that I did, because it lets me see that even with double vision she did pretty well - I love the  “sounds goods,” and “sounds goof” in those messages. Now I’m glad that when I proofread them at the time, I missed them, because it reminds me of those priceless minutes and our laughter.

I said, “Wow, you’re doing a good job texting considering you have double vision. Hey, you really have double vision! You really have buffel vision!“ 

Dave had gotten us started singing the Foreigner song “Double Vision” pretty regularly, but we changed the words to “Buffle Vision.” Then we were laughing about her really having double/buffle vision. We talked for a while, and then I remembered I had not done morning meds or started the feeding pump. At around 12 PM, I did those things. We were waiting for Jonny to wake up so we could all watch church together. 

I’m amazed by the things Gabby said on her last morning, her last day on this old earth. I love that just before Gabby left to go to the place where she sees clearly, perfectly, we were singing “Fill my eyes with that double vision, fill my eyes with that buffle vision.” 

Things I learned from Gabby - Live with double hope, double vision, buffle vision.

Live trusting God because “my life is in his hands.” Live knowing I'm not going to the afterlife, I’m actually in the before life. My daughter literally died with double vision, but she crossed from death to life and now she see things clearly, perfectly. Lord, fill our eyes with that Buffle Vision.

On January 12th it will be two years since Gabby left us to go home. I’ve started writing about her life and decided to post my ramblings during this holiday and anniversary season when I could use your prayers and encouragement. Also, hopefully you’ll be encouraged through the things I learned from GABBY - THE QUIET GIRL WHOSE LIFE SPOKE VOLUMES

Who knows? It could be the beginnings of a book. 

While we went through what seemed like endless procedures, surgerys, treatments, she said and lived by simple truths.

The last of the simple truths I wanted to focus on was, “Fill My Eyes with that Buffle Vision.”