Andrew’s Story

Site created on March 13, 2018

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Andrew has been feeling lethargic and has been quiet, obviously not himself, for the past month.  He had trouble with word-finding and even trouble walking sometimes.  He went to Dr. Doug Dixon in Wilmington on February 27, 2018 to discuss his symptoms.  Dr. Dixon ordered a blood panel which came back normal.  Dr. Dixon kept thinking about Andrew and conferred with some colleagues because he was concerned and wanted to find the answer.   Two days later, Dr. Dixon ordered MRIs of the brain and an MR Arthrogram of the brain.  These tests were performed on Saturday, March 10, 2018 and revealed a large tumor in Andrew's brain.  Dr. Dixon received the results around 4:30 and met with us at 7:00.  He gave Andrew steroids that helped with the brain swelling (which was causing the symptoms), and Andrew was back to his normal boisterous self within 30 minutes.  Dr. Dixon diagnosed this within 12 days and for that we are forever grateful.


Dr. Dixon sent us to NHRMC for admission and for additional steroids to treat the brain swelling.  CT scans were performed of the torso and were negative for other lesions, so this means that this is a primary brain tumor (i.e. no tumors anywhere else in the body).  We met with the neurosurgeon on Sunday morning, and he recommended a resection of the tumor (surgery to remove the tumor).  We put our powerful network to work (we have the BEST family and friends) and quickly figured out that Dr. Alan Friedman at Duke's Tisch Center is the top surgeon for this procedure.  Dr. Friedman is a neurosurgeon who specializes in treatment of brain tumors.  The problem was how to  get in, and the NHRMC crew was not optimistic because Andrew was not an emergent case at that point.  We started calling around to friends, and within an hour Dr. Friedman had accepted Andrew as a patient.  


Andrew had an ICU to ICU transfer to Duke on Sunday around 3:00.  He met with his team and then had a functional MRI on Monday morning.  Functional MRI means that he was answering questions and making motions during the MRI.  The PhD who administered this test is the top in the country, and Duke is one of only a few facilities who has this test.  This test tells the team which parts of the brain light up near the tumor during different events and lets the team know what parts of the brain are touching the tumor.  This was probably Andrew's favorite part of this journey so far.


We met with Dr. Friedman at 5:00 on Monday to learn our plan.  The tumor is a four inch mass and is in a difficult place.  Dr. Friedman does not feel he will be able to remove all of it.  He recommended surgery only because Andrew is 40 and otherwise healthy; he would not do this on a 60 year old.  The surgery will be on Wednesday, March 14, 2018 (mom Sylvia's birthday) at 10:45.  It will be approximately 5 hours give or take.  Andrew will then be discharged on Thursday and we will stay in the area until Sunday to be safe and then home to Wilmington.  We will meet with the Duke Oncology team in approximately two weeks to determine the plan for radiation/chemo if it turns out the tumor is malignant.  It presents like it is and that is the differential diagnosis, but they will not know for certain until they biopsy it after the surgery.


We SO appreciate all of the thoughts, prayers and love.  Our friends, family and workmates have been so supportive and have dropped everything to help us.  Our children are happy and well cared for, as are we, thanks to all of you.  Please keep the positive energy flowing.  Andrew and I have stayed positive since Saturday night.


Please no gifts, flowers, balloons or other disposable items.  Andrew has been documenting all of the people and processes that have gotten us this far.   We will be in touch for what the best next steps are for all the friends and family.    



The staff here at Duke keeps asking me if he is always this way, so talkative, friendly and positive and always, I mean ALWAYS, scheming up a plan, and I have had to tell them that this is very normal for him.  They love Andrew, and we love them.  We are UNC through and through but Duke is impressing us and we are definitely in the right place.  xoxo, Stewart      

Newest Update

October 04, 2020

Journal entry by Stewart Poisson —

Hi All,

Tomorrow will mark one year since Andrew passed.  What a year, huh?  

We miss Andrew every day, sometimes it feels like every minute of the day, but he would be so proud of where we are now.  I look back at March and that last post and remember how raw it all was.  We still have our moments, but we have turned a corner.  I am also often reminded that Alexander and Cutlar are the best of both of us.  We are strong, and we are resilient, and I see that in them.  They are smart, funny, tough as hell and they are loving.        

Grief is not linear, so we weather the downs and enjoy the ups.  We talk about Andrew and talk about what he would say about things (politics, the meals we eat, the music we like, all of it), what he would like (the Halloween costumes that we are planning), what he would hate (the COVID isolation) and what he was like (awesome).  We talk about missing him, and we talk about when we are sad, but we try not to dwell on what we have lost.  We live life. 

We have made the most of our lives while being COVID cautious—having yard visits with the Grays and my family, camping a lot, beaching it a lot, going on a fun RV trip to camp with the Grays on Lake Huron, going to the mountains and moving to Wrightsville Beach for the month of October. 

I feel sad that Andrew is no longer with us to enjoy this life because he would have done so much with the additional time.  He would have loved seeing the kids grow.  Mostly I am sad for the kids not knowing him as well as I would have hoped and not having more memories of him, but we work on that.  Our friends Stephanie and Julie made beautiful albums for each of them with photos and stories from Andrew’s friends, and our friends stay in touch and talk about Andrew with the kids.

For my part, I feel lucky to have had 20 years with Andrew.  I focus on how incredible our time together was.  Andrew was remarkable in so many ways, but the example he has given us on how to live, as well as how he faced his illness, is such a gift.  I understand that we are who we are because he was part of our lives.  I still draw so much strength from him.

Tomorrow we will be together, if not in person then at least in spirit.  We plan to spend an intentional moment at 7:30pm once it’s dark, light a candle in Andrew’s memory and talk/commune/be with him.  Please join us from where you are.  Maybe listen to the beautiful music from his celebration of life (link in last post).  Maybe talk to him about the crazy world we are living in, or think about what he would say about the president having COVID; the passing of RBG, John Prine, Toots Hibbert and the countless others we have lost to COVID.  Let’s focus some good, intentional energy on the year ahead and make the most of it, as Andrew would have done.  

Xoxo,
Stewart

PS-This photo of the two of us was from our downtown precinct in 2016.  Andrew canvassed and I worked outside the polls promoting our candidates during each election since 2008.  Make sure you vote this year and do everything you can to get everyone you know out to vote for good candidates.  I worried about making this too political, but you know what?  My man was political.  So on his behalf I’m saying do your part and encourage others to do theirs.  





  

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