My Babies are my Miracles... I prayed so many years to become a Mother... My first miracle came when I was 35 years old~My Daughter, Henley Blue... My Second~and very much a surprise and such a joy, just two weeks before my 40th Birthday~ My Son, Hawk Benton...
   I had more than I could have ever dreamed... 
My Girl and My Boy... Life had it's ups and downs, but I had all I ever wanted... I Love being a Mother... My children are my life and brought me so much happiness...
   Three months after Hawk's 2nd Birthday, I was admitted into the hospital due to complications with having type 1 diabetes...
I was very sick and had been in the hospital for several days... Henley and Hawk had gone fishing with their' Dad, My Sister, Brother and two Brother-in-Laws... They went to a boat dock on the Mississippi River and threw their' lines in... Somehow, My 2 year old son had snuck past them while they all, at the worst possible moment, had their' eyes in the wrong direction... My daughter screamed and they heard the splash... His Daddy jumped in after him, but due to the current and how the boat dock was, my son disappeared... His Daddy was right there but Hawk was gone... Strangers jumped in as well, 911 was called, The River had pulled him away in a matter of moments... Unfortunately, despite many wonderful people searching, Hawk was missing for 13 days before he was found... I have dealt with a lot of anger, am making great progress, but it's a process I continue to work on... The Why's and What If's are exhausting... The grief and sorrow, pain and anger and saddness swallow me whole somedays... I miss him so very much.
   Today is Christmas Eve... I sit here missing my boy... Knowing he should be here... Fast asleep in his new Christmas Jammies, his stocking full of goodies, perhaps put to bed with cookie crumbs... But tonight I forgot to have my seven year old daughter leave milk and cookies out for Santa Clause... I just forgot. I feel awful... I miss Hawkey... We all miss Hawkey... Our first Christmas without him... He was such an amazing little boy...
He was such a sweet little guy and loved Momma's snuggles, He had such a big sense of humor for such a little guy!!! He adored his big sister, His Daddy's sidekick... Hawk was everything to us... Today makes 5 months since we lost our Angel... Merry 1st Christmas in Heaven, Hawk... Fly So High Little Guy... We all Love you and Miss you ever so much...💙