I never knew the term cancerversary until this journey: today is my one year anniversary since my diagnosis.  I was trying to think of the right word to describe the year, because surprisingly "good" came to mind first but didn't seem to be fitting enough.  Yes, it had its challenges - Eva's burns, cancer, our treatments, kids and me living separately from Vince for 8 months, a move to Dallas and transitioning care as well as transitioning everything else.  But (with its challenges), we experienced more love in this one year than some get in their lifetime. We learned to receive, and I had the time freedom to deepen relationships and strengthen new ones.  Some things that came from this year that would have been out of my comfort zone previously include this blog, as I typically avoid writing, and learning to be still (still learning).

We've had a glorious summer to cap off the end of this chapter- travels to gorgeous mountains and beaches (visiting America as per Eva since Dallas does not have mountains and oceans), and time with family and friends, often over some of our favorite eats at our old haunts. It has also been the start of enjoying Dallas as our new home- with visits from loved ones, meeting and hosting new friends, exploring Asian markets and eateries, and activities that range from homemade ice cream (yum) and baking macarons (a fail) to the kids attending multiple day camps that included learning to type to archery and fishing.  There also have been many, many little moments amongst the big ones that have been memorable, funny, and heartwarming, such as E&e's talk to me about my hair (needs help), a recent conversation filled with a dozen hypotheses of why the tooth fairy did not come for Eli's tooth the first night (favorite hypothesis: she came but Daddy thought she was a mosquito and swatted her), and their new pediatrician noting how well they have adjusted (making me realize I should give them more credit).   

I finished my last immunotherapy infusion earlier this week, the kids start school next week, and I'll be heading back to work 10 days after.  There is definitely anticipation as well as a little apprehension after having been off for a year, but I am feeling restored, rejuvenated, and (almost) ready.

A year ago I had the expected restless night after the biopsy results were in... even with it, I remember praying "I don't understand... but I will trust", and that Matt Redman's song "The heart of worship" came to mind repeatedly that night:

When the music fades
All is stripped away
And I simply come
Longing just to bring
Something that's of worth
That will bless Your heart
I'll bring You more than a song
For a song in itself
Is not what You have required
You search much deeper within
Through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart...

When this journey began, I promised myself that I would try to remain true to who I am while growing through it, and this was possible because of the love, support, and prayers from so many. I'm not sure how often I will write in this blog moving forward - perhaps occasional updates when I have my routine oncology follow-ups or if a topic comes to mind - but I feel compelled to do a physical scrapbook of this year to depict how surprisingly full and restorative it has been, and as a memento reminding our family to continue to trust even when we don't understand. 

For the many acts of kindness and outpouring of love and support we directly received, Vince and I also know there are countless others from all over the globe who have thought of and prayed for us, some of whom we have never met.  It is through this that no matter what the future holds - challenges and triumphs, laughter and tears, love and lost - we are undoubtedly and immensely blessed by and through all of you, and forever grateful. 

Love and hugs always 💜