Erin | CaringBridge

Journal entry by Lauren Wells — May 28, 2021

(photo credit: Jensen Photography; Jeff and Cait Jensen)

Good evening, friends.

Yesterday was an incredible celebration of Erin’s life. Thank you to everyone who came to the service to show love and support and to honor her memory. Truly, she would have loved it and I'm certain it was exactly what she wanted (mainly because she made her wishes quite clear☺️). All of it was achingly beautiful, but the most important thing about the day was Erin's not-so-hidden agenda- to point each of you straight to the hope she had in Jesus. She took great care to make sure each of you had the opportunity to experience what allowed her to LIVE OUT her mantra "Victory Either Way". That's exactly what she told Pastor Phil Carnuccio, and what he so clearly and beautifully communicated yesterday on her behalf. Erin's desire for all who have followed her on this journey was that you would hear that message. Please, if you were not able to attend or watch live yesterday, consider spending some time over the next week and watch the service. You will be so blessed. You can find it HERE. (The service starts around the 36 minute mark so don't be alarmed when you see 2 hours, 7 minutes.)

Pastor Nathanael Manthey shared a beautiful poem he wrote, which I have posted below, for anyone who may want to read it again. Through unimaginable grief and sadness, Katie, Jeremy, Ben, Cambre, Lane, and Steve spoke about their relationship with Erin with strength and bravery that will surely make you cry, but will also make you laugh (a lot). And, Kate, Steve, Ellie and Brenna honored Erin with gorgeous music. It was the perfect tribute.

After the service, a number of you found me to introduce yourselves and it was so nice to meet so many of Erin's friends and family members that I hadn't yet. I was happy to see some of the faces behind the comments and well wishes. I want to take this opportunity to say "Thank you" again. Erin handed over this responsibility to me and it has been an unexpected gift that I will always cherish. You have been unreasonably kind and gracious to me over the past 16 months. You have shared your gratitude over and over and I cannot begin to express how much it has meant to me that the words I have put on these pages has touched even one of you. It has been my joy and honor to serve Erin and her family on this platform. I, like so many of you, am forever changed by her village (that's YOU!) and our warrior. As a collective, you are a true and pure reflection of the goodness of God in this broken world and I am so grateful to have borne witness to this miracle. I saw it unfold with my own two eyes, heard it with my own two ears, felt it with my own two hands, experienced it in my own heart and soul. Now, I wait in great anticipation to see what beauty God will surely bring out of these ashes of pain and despair. I will tell the story of how our good God made a way when there seemed to be no way and will trust in His promise to turn all things meant for evil for our good. “The story isn’t over if the story isn’t good.” Erin’s story is far from over- He has blessing after blessing in store for her people.

I want to acknowledge that I'm not sure what will become of this space now. It will live here in the inter webs forever, I suppose. Maybe some day Steve will want to share what is happening with their family, or a few photos of the kids, or a funny story... I will let it be whatever Steve and the kids want it to be. For the short term, please keep following if you’d like information about how we will continue to tangibly support the Selcher family over the next few months. They are headed to the beach for a few weeks tomorrow, and we will most likely re-start meals to help out for the rest of the summer.

I’ll leave you now with some of the words in the final song yesterday- "The Blessing". We stood and sang it as message of hope and peace over the Selcher Family and it was a holy moment. Watch it and be blessed and filled up, too.

"May His favor be upon you
And a thousand generations
And your family and your children
And their children, and their children

May His presence go before you
And behind you, and beside you
All around you, and within you
He is with you, He is with you

In the morning, in the evening
In your coming, and your going
In your weeping, and rejoicing
He is for you, He is for you!"

Waging Hope,

Lauren

Poem by Nathanael Manthey:

As Christians, we believe death is temporary.

That our earthly demise is merely momentary

We believe we have eternal life

A rescue from this temporal strife

We read in the Scriptures

That Jesus our victor

Has conquered death and the grave

Through his resurrection tidal wave

But we are stuck in the temporary

With a burden too great to carry

Grief-stricken, solitary

Swept up in adversity

And while we believe Erin is healed and whole

We are stuck here with an Erin-shaped hole

Ripped through our very core

With no real good answer for

The age-old question, “Why?”

Why did she have to die?

Sobs and sighs my sole expression

I have not received an answer to my question

I have received silence.

Stubborn silence, vast and immense

The only break in the silence is the sound of weeping.

Grief and pain, invading and creeping

So now what?

In desperation, I am stuck with trust.

Trust that the one with whom Erin is present is also present with us.

My King took on flesh and walked this earth

Experiencing life and death and resurrection rebirth

My King is more than a religious belief

He is a man of sorrow and acquainted with grief. He experienced our brokenness

He feels our hopelessness

He knows our helplessness

At the tomb of his friend Lazarus who died,

The Scriptures tell us that Jesus cried

Our King knows grief and loss and pain

He feels the weight of emotions drain

This stress and strain

For him is not unfamiliar terrain

And in our grief and our confusion

In our despair and disillusion

Our King has declared, “Though this world will try to break you,

I will never leave you nor forsake you.

I will deliver and defend.”

And so this is not the end

In the new heaven and new earth

Banished are the effects of the curse

Gone are disease, death, decay

As all tears are wiped away

We are not abandoned.

Nor left stranded

Jesus’ heart breaks with our sorrows.

Of painful nights and hard tomorrows.

And in all this pain which we are passing thru

My King declares, “I am making all things new.”

And this I know is true,

For God loves Erin more than we do

Steve thought you all might enjoy reading a few texts that might encourage you. This first one was written to Jeremy, from his friend Ian Smith:

“As I sit here alone in Memphis slowly absorbing everything that was said today at the service and trying to stop crying from the absolutely beautiful things written by you, Benny and Steve - you guys totally wrecked me, and I still cry as I write this - it is poignantly clear to me how God works in mysterious ways, choosing that little munchkin with the big voice and personality as his example showing everyone how he wants us to live life. I’ll never forget the first time I got to see her work her magic at her second or third birthday party inside that big yellow house across the street - she stood there on a chair smiling proudly at everyone around the room as they all sang happy birthday to her, and then when it was over, sensing the moment with the comedic timing of a grown professional, she proceeded to smash her cute, little face into that big, beautiful cake causing the room to erupt into laughter and chaos. And the hell of it all is that, at that moment, it was crystal clear to me the little squirt knew EXACTLY what she was doing when she did it. Always the little clown, making the bigger kids laugh with her funny little deep voices that made one question whether she might be possessed, and then delighting in the laughter that she had created for everyone. After leading aircrews into combat you think you’re a tough guy and you’re strong, and that you have actually accomplished something- that is until God reminds you again of how weak you are compared to that little girl who birthed and raised five kids and then fought so hard and valiantly, all the while actually inspiring and supporting all those around her who were supposed be doing that for her instead. That’s the heart of a lion, my friend, if I ever saw one. This time my tears are not from her gifts of laughter but of a true sadness - but once again that little girl gives us all one final gift - reminding us of how you’re actually supposed to live your life and of what really matters in that life, easily putting most of the rest of us to shame by how well and how true she could actually do it.
I miss you guys and I wish I could be there to give you all a hug in person. If possible, could you please forward this to Benny, Steve and your Mom and Dad for me (I don’t have their numbers).
-All my love to you and your family from the crazy kid across the street. I miss you, brother.”

And this one from Terry Newnham, a co-worker of Steve’s:

“I never met Erin, but she obviously had a huge impact on countless lives and it was an honor being present yesterday, brother. The strength you and your children showed is beyond admirable and inspiring. I had just started my workout around 6 am this morning outside and was praying for you guys when the sun broke out from behind a cloud. Could have been coincidental, but I’d like to believe it was Erin saying thank you and she’s got this. Then the sun ducked behind a cloud again. You’ll see her in everything you do, she’ll never leave your heart and she’ll be a constant inspiration. You being a former wrestler I understand why you didn’t like, ‘Victory either way’. That’s not a wrestling mentality. If you don’t beat your opponent, you lose. There are no moral victories, but she was able to see victory in what most would see as defeat, because she knew death isn’t the end. It’s the greatest victory when we’re called home. I struggle with it too, but will keep her words close to my heart. God Bless you, brother, we’re here for you and praying for you all.”

For those asking, and those who might be wondering, here is the website for our church, Providence Church, West Chester. Pastor Phil and Nathanael, the worship team and musicians, and all of Erin's friends who attend there would love to have you join us!