Hi Erik, I got a funny message from my brother Ashton today that I thought you'd appreciate. He had dinner last night with his friend Tony and Tony's mother, Magali , who live near him in Philadelphia. I stayed in Magili's house a few years ago while Ashton was sitting for her while she and Tony were in Italy, but never met her. Over dinner they made the connection to me living in Madison and knowing Gay and you. It's a small world, particularly the academic side, but its nice to have made the connection. I'm glad to see that you are in good spirits, despite the bad news, and that you are sharing memories with your grandchildren. Best wishes to you and to Marcia, Will

Dear Erik,

It's wonderful that you are feeling well enough to share musings and stories that will be cherished by your grandchildren and generations to come. What a loving gift to them. I wish I could be there to see you and to hear about these important events in your life. Of course, even absent your account, imagining you and Marcia discovering one another makes me smile.

You are so kind to reassure your friends and admirers on Caring Bridge about the days that will come at the end. Always a dad, a beloved mentor, a devoted friend and caring colleague, you have looked after everyone and helped us prepare for our painful loss . You have taught us how to treat others in the best of times and the worst of times and through your generosity and kindness inspired others to be their best. Great thinkers, scholars, activists, and humanitarians leave legacies and often times acolytes. However, you will leave the planet with even more because you have shared so much of your inner self. Stem cells seem like an apt metaphor for what you have implanted in others. Your wisdom, knowledge, kindheartedness, humor and so much more will divide and grow in the many lives you have touched. You have an infinite store of love and affection that will live on in many hearts.

I hope you will continue to get relief and your body will cooperate for a much longer time than expected.

With great affection,
Aimée

How wonderful to have Becky and Jenny there with you now, Erik. And that there is some physical relief... itself a relief to hear, and I do so hope that continues. And I trust that in your account of your and Marcia falling in love you've left room for your playing the flute on a bicycle while zooming through Cambridge? (I never could imagine how that was physically possible -- or perhaps I've revised the story in my mind via the scrim of literary dramatization...anyway always loved it. ) Love, Julia

I have been reading all of your postings since the beginning and have been moved by them, often to tears. I haven’t written anything in part because I’ve been so upset about what you’re going through and also because it’s often hard to know what to say, other than expressing how much we love and admire you. When I read today that Jenny and Becky we’re with you I had to write since it brought back a flood of memories of joyous and fun filled moments raising our children together in what some of our students referred to as our little socialist republic. You’ve been such a wonderful father and friend and I have so much to thank you for and don’t know where to start. Our many bicycle and ski vacations together were wonderful, including the one last year in Varoqua.just before you feel ill. I hope we can all face death with the courage and optimism you’ve shown. As always we have so much to learn from you. MJ and are planning to visit soon. A big hug to the only guy who has kissed me on the lips (during our ASA conference planning meeting in Denver when you were ASA President and wanted to make a point to the committee).

Dear Erik
I am so sad to read about your illness but at the same time so incredibly moved by your wit and your astute evaluation of your condition, and by your meditations on life. I hope you know what an impact your work has made in South Africa, and on me in particular.
I am glad you are surrounded by love and friendship in the last weeks.
wishing peace and gentleness for you
Shireen

I feel so happy for you, Marcia and your daughters. When my father was dying of cancer, we took the same decision. All the family gathered spontaneously around him in the house until he passed away. That was one of the best decision I ever took. These days together have bounded us and it helps a lot in the grieving process. Mindfulness dying is a rainbow of tears and joy.

I sent the following email to Erik a while ago, and wanted to share it.

Dear Erik,

Your recent messages “Time Horizon” and “nothing much to report” perfectly instantiate the extraordinary person you are and moved me to tears. They demonstrate in the most beautiful way your capacity to face reality in all its detail with almost casual detachment and your unwillingness ever to feel sorry for yourself. They also show your determination to move forward under difficult circumstances in the most sensible manner, taking advantage of every opportunity you have as optimistically as possible, but never entertaining illusions.

Over the many years I have known you, and not least on those occasions when we have had a chance to talk to one another about things we were going through at the moment, I have been simply blown away by your extraordinary courage, matter of factly expressed. Upon suffering a setback, even a big setback, you have always responded in the most productive way, with a discipline that has made my jaw drop.

You have always been an extraordinary inspiration to me, not to mention a generous and loving friend who takes the extra step to show support and deepen the relationship as much as possible. I am certain that very many of your friends feel the same way.

I want to send you all my love and let you know how much your continuing struggle means to me.

Bob

Dear Erik - Love, joy and peace - those are my very wishes for you!
It also occurred to me a couple days ago if you could dictate stories and letters to someone else (I was thinking about poor Marcia; had no idea your daughters were able to be around!), you could really accomplish a lot and it wouldn't hurt the quality of your stories or letters. The first time I was in your class, I took notes - as everyone else did, went home and read my notes, and boy, they were of publishable quality!

Erik - Love this picture of family all around and Becky typing away. I remember when my mother was dying of stomach cancer a friend said to me , "She is giving you her final lessons." And so it goes with each generation, giving their final lessons to the next. Thanks for the great gift of sharing it with us. Love, Jody

I am so happy that you are feeling as you so well describe. I can imagine you telling out loud your love story with Marcia and I would like to be there to hear it. Damm! Erik, you are so special you deserve to last. And I bet you do.
Love and huggs to Marcia and those daughters whom I knew when they were born. A toast from Madrid!