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Journal

January
7
2019

celebration time

Yesterday I made a wonderful discovery: I can dictate the stories and musings in the letter to grandchildren much faster than I can write them. I've developed a small tremor in my hands which increases the rate of typos. But even aside from that, Becky types vastly faster than I do. And my letter really is more like an oral story than it is like a written composition in many ways. So yesterday, l dictated the account of my falling in love and getting married to Marcia, and the beginning of the story of my going to Harvard and Oxford. Together those were about 6,000 words, which in one day was about 10% of what I had written since August. so I'll get a lot more storytelling done by dictating it. Also, it has the nice advantage that when there are visitors here it becomes a performance. And I'm telling stories to loved ones gathered around while Becky busily beavers away as my loyal secretary.  I'm sure it will need some editing after it's done, but it's great fun to tell these stories out loud to Becky and for anyone who's around to hear them as well. 

On a general health update, I'm actually feeling very good.  Mind you, that's partially because of 4 mg of steroids plus 2 Ritalin.  But they do seem to do the trick.  It also seems that the new FDA chemo that I've been on for the last 6 weeks is slightly shrinking my liver, which is giving me some physical relief. Since this is a brand new medicine, who knows what it might do.  It's nice to add a little uncertainty back into the story.  

My daughters have given me a wonderful gift, and have organized their lives so that they can stay with me until I die. This really brings tremendous joy. I'm at peace with the situation and will just take things as they come. I asked the doctors what it is likely to be like at the very end, and they said I would just gradually be sleeping more and more of the day and eventually drift off into a sleep from which I don't wake up.  

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