I have genuinely struggled trying to figure out how to start this entry. Each time I attempt, tears flow like a river. In fact, I have cried more tears the past few months than my entire emotionally labile teenage years. Tears of exhaustion, tears of happiness, tears of pain, tears of frustration, tears of relief. However, after reading my dad’s entries along with all of likes and comments responding, my tears are derived from gratitude. It is overwhelming, in fact hard to even fathom, the amount of people who have been invested in my recovery from meningitis.

Even though this has been the most trying battle of my life thus far, I have realized how blessed I am to have such an amazing support network surrounding me. Through all of the heartfelt prayers, encouragement, generosity, and love, you all were my family and I’s rock. So, for every tear that I have shed, I have had a hundred more reasons to smile. Thank you.

Since it has been a few weeks, I wanted to personally give an update.

I wish I could say recovery has been easy. I yearned for something that seemed so simple: normalcy. However, because my body had undergone so much trauma, I was constantly reminded that it wouldn’t happen overnight. So, I focus on the small wins. Because for me, every small win means one step closer to being normal. For those who do not know, I had been experiencing debilitating migraines. I would be in so much pain I could not move or even slightly look into the light. However, I have been headache-free for about three weeks!! Woohoo!! This was such a “big win” as my dad would say. It was a huge step in allowing me to return to daily activities.

Physically, I am getting stronger every week. The past few weeks at home have given me time to focus on my fitness and nutrition. I have had so many resources step up to teach me what is best for my body and assist me in reaching my ideal goal. Although I am not there yet, I know with my strong work ethic and motivation, I will soon reach this goal. The most difficult aspect of my recovery has most definitely been mentally and emotionally. Not being able to return to Mizzou this semester was excruciating. I missed my friends and yes, even nursing school. Learning I had to stay an extra semester was an even bigger punch in the gut. I have made the choice to prioritize school since I have been at Mizzou. Because of school, I have missed out on some aspects of being a college student, but I have always known this choice would benefit my future. Seeing my clear cut path I have made for myself get off track was hard for me to swallow, but, hey, who doesn’t want to spend an extra semester in college?!

Honestly, it is still hard for me to fully grasp my situation. I have had times when I get frustrated and the only thing that comes to mind is “why?” Why did this happen? Why did my whole life change in a blink of an eye? Then I take a step back, and I realize God has only given me what He knows I can handle.  And guess what…I am doing pretty damn well.

Each and every one of you are a blessing to my family and me. Your encouragement has had a tremendous effect on my recovery, and I am forever grateful to have such a strong, amazing support system. So, long story short, no amount of “thank you’s” will ever suffice, but I am going to say it anyway - Thank you to each and every one of you.