Elijah Gale’s Story

Site created on April 6, 2021

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Journal entry by Cheyenne Sandstrom

September 21, 2021 Elijah was rolled back for his second stent procedure. There was bruising along his pulmonary artery that during the catheter procedure began to bleed and his heart failed. They proceeded with compressions for 30 minutes and were able to bring his heartbeat back. In order to stop the bleeding they would have to open up his heart to find the bleed and stop it. They were successful. The bleeding stopped. Elijah’s heart stopped too. More compressions. No response. Elijah returned home to our Heavenly Father.

I know without a doubt that God lives. Jesus is the son of God and he died that we may be forgiven and live with Him again. I know that the Holy Spirit is the spirit of God and testifies of truth and warns, prompts, and speaks to us.

I would like to share two very sacred and personal experiences that I have had in my life that have been personal testimonies to these truths. 

Easter Sunday 2010 Campo California. My older brother Cody asked my dad if he could go ride his dirtbike at his friend Dylan’s house where they had built a new track. My dad said yes. I remember walking with my sister Shanell and overhearing this exchange and immediately feeling my entire body speaking into my muscles and brain, almost audible, “you should take the key out of his bike”. It was the strangest feeling I had ever experienced. I ignored it and felt it again, so I told my sister and she told me not to because she knew Cody would have most likely beat me up or shot me with his paintball gun. I felt it again and said, “I know, I just really feel like taking his key.” I didn’t. I walked past his bike and went about my afternoon beating free. 

Flash forward an hour and I am at the fire station watching my brother struggle to breath with an oxygen mask. Another hour and we are following him behind an ambulance. Another hour and I am watching him fly away in a helicopter because they say he won’t make it to the hospital in time by car. I thought I had just killed my brother. He’s alive for any of you wondering. But man I was never going to ignore a feeling like that ever again!

September 21, 2021 Seattle Washington.

I woke up with a feeling. I asked David to take some consecrated oil with him to give Elijah a blessing. I had to stay at the trailer with Callen, David went to the hospital to work and be there through Eli’s surgery. He forgot to give the blessing so when he called me saying that they were getting ready to roll him back I asked to verify that he was given a blessing and he said “I will do it right after I hang up”.

Once Elijah was rolled back I remember I was doing the dishes and Callen was playing outside. I got another feeling so I texted David asking what time I should head over to pick him up. David said not yet. I texted again asking if 4 was a good time. David said they had scheduled Eli in the OR for at least 3 hours so to just wait for him to text me before I head over. Some time passed. Callen was jumping on the trampoline and it hit me. A voice. Loud in my head and in every muscle in my body pulling me to my feet saying, “You are heading to the hospital.” Without any hesitation I grabbed the keys, locked the trailer, threw on Callen’s shoes, and got us buckled in the car so fast I forgot his cup and backpack that we always bring with spare clothes and diapers. 

15 minutes into the drive to the hospital I get stuck in traffic and start thinking, “Am I just a nervous wreck or what? Well fine if I’m early and this was a false alarm I will just park the car and stroll around the hospital grounds with Callen until Eli gets back.” My phone rings. It was not a false alarm. It was David calling me to tell me to come to the hospital because something went wrong and they were doing compressions on Eli. I told him I was already on my way.

Just 2 hours later, Elijah went to heaven. But please don’t say “I am sorry for your loss.” Not to me anyway. I have not lost anything! I have been given so much! Because of that experience back when I was a girl, I reacted so quickly to the promptings of the spirit that I was able to be there with David and be there for Elijah. Because of the spirit we chose to go against the Boise doctors and find a hospital who would fight with Elijah. We were blessed with 3 months with our beautiful boy! I got to know him and snuggle him. I got to change his diapers, hold his hands, dress him, take his temperature, bathe him, hold him, kiss him. I know that he is like me and hates the cold. I know he did not appreciate skin-to-skin and much rather preferred to be swaddled when held. I know that he liked his room on the dimmer side and was fussier when the blinds were drawn all the way up. I know he loved all the attention from nurses and particularly loved physical therapy. I know that he gets hangry like his older brother. He really hated pooping and definitely harassed his nurses by pooping on them mid diaper change. He had red hair, which by the way I have no idea where that came from and I am speculating that it may have been another chromosome thing. He really enjoyed his lullaby music that we would play for him each day. He preferred to lay on his left side. He loved me.

Grief is weird. I feel like my grieving started from day one of being pregnant. I knew something wasn’t right. I even went to the urgent care randomly because I felt so off. (And I never do that, I normally just pop an ibuprofen and hope for the best) I grieved when we found out something was wrong. I grieved at the thought of him being stillborn. I grieved when he was born at how hard his life was going to be. I grieved when he contracted NEC and I was sure it would claim his life. I grieved when doctors were pushing a trache. I  grieved when they asked if we wanted to continue with the open heart procedure to try and save his life.I grieved when I was given my son without any wires or color or warmth. I grieved when Callen caressed his dead brothers face and felt how cold he was that he grabbed a blanket and put it on him. I grieve not knowing how Callen is doing or how much he understands. I grieve for David having lost his son. I grieve for me. I grieve for you! Elijah’s grandma, uncle, auntie, friend, acquaintance. 

Instead of feeling sorry that I had to say goodbye, please choose to see all of his miracles. I don’t feel sorry. I feel proud. I am so cussing proud of my son! He was one tough cookie and he was also so polite about it. Well other than the diaper changes and poop thing like I said. Am I sad? All the time! Do I miss him? Well duh! But I have not lost. I know I will see him again. I am grateful for the Lord entrusting David and I with such a pure spirit. 

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