Check One two, Check One Two....
#Insomia

Hi everyone,

Wow...can you believe it has almost been 1 year already (4/2019) since I encountered that HUGE sneeze that changed the entire remaining of my life??!!!!
After experiencing this crazy emotional journey of having Multiple Myeloma, I've learned & gained alot of knowledge about this rare blood Cancer.

This may sound odd but POSITIVELY speaking, I believe I was one of many chosen to inherit this rare disease for a reason. Kinda like the boss picking the best team for the job. Why?
I, amongst many others on this planet, may have put us a step closer to being "THE ONE" to survive this rare disease! With myself going through a rollercoaster of treatments & in return showing Nurses/Doctors mind blowing recovery numbers, have definitely manipulated the standard statistics to a whole different level. With this disease, I decided to contribute my specimens & donate samples of my bone marrow & blood to scientists of Stanford, to help find the cure or something very close. As long as we continue to fight to live, we can continue to spread the knowledge with positive testimonials when all is completed & defeated! <----- Yes I said defeated.. beeeaaach!

Since I have gained a strong following in the local entertainment business w/ a big platform of followers & a voice that may grab the attention of many others in this similar situation, my story & experiences could possibly be valuable someday. right? So now do you see why I think I was chosen?
Again I am just POSITIVELY speaking :) In reality, It does suck for me or anyone else to get diagnosed w/ Multiple Myeloma & to be a poster boy/girl. But if that's the reason why, (since it's the only positive thing I can think of) then I'll just roll with it & continue to be strong for my kids, family & friends, while setting a positive example to others who may inherit this disease. This is definitely a reality check on how short and precious life can be.

So let's rewind back to mid November 2019...
After a few lab appointments & attending orientation mtgs w/ the Staff of Stanford Cancer Center, they were discussing my options, itinerary & schedule of procedures. My entire fam & I were soaking in ALL the info as we openly discussed things what we were not clear of. It was a pretty long day & we got home late being physically & mentally exhausted. My mind was still unclear of some things & I was still a mess of emotions :(
The next day I sent a group text msg to ALL who attended expressing how I was feeling at the moment & not to sure about being able to handle ALL of this. :/ My circle obviously replied w/ nothing but positive vibes & that I can do this! They ALL assured me that they will be there by my side 100% & support me through this entire journey! <--- I have nothing but LOVE for all of them & I would do the exact same for them as well! ;)
The next following evening Marcia (close great friend) texted me, "how I'm doing with all this?" I honestly replied, "I do feel a bit better by getting more informed about the Bone marrow transplant procedure, yet I still feel emotionally challenged on how much hurdles I've gone through & still going through in my life....I don't know why my life seems way more difficult than others? Its not fair :( but I'm going to do my best to conquer these challenges in my life." She replied, "I guess the saying may be true.. God gives you what you can handle & he definitely knows who is his strongest. You are very strong mentally all the way around Charlie!"
It took me a long while to try & understand what she meant. I guess I get it now & had to accept my life the way it is. Thank you Marcia for that txt msg ;) With that said, I was definitely not giving up & I will give it my best to punch through this & beat any expiration date given to me regardless the statistics. I WILL fight & live way longer than statistically expected! #RealTalk #IronManMenatality

Back to the present....
Now that the reality of me accepting Multiple Myeloma has sunk in, I realized alot of things, knowing my life span is possibly now shortened. Cure or no cure, I'm already at the halfway point of life itself. So time to view life differently. No matter how healthy you are (excerising or how you eat) or how safe you try to be (seat belt, helmets, security, etc) or even take precautions (flu shot, airborne, masks, bacteria cleansers, etc) you will NEVER know how or when you are going to die. We now are very cautious (nothing wrong with that) and the older we get, we tend to live more in fear, worrisome or paranoia.
So for those that are around my age or older and are very conservative & scared of almost everything, "just GET OUT THERE, take chances, be uncomfortable, make mistakes & get embarrassed :)" (This is generally speaking pre Coronavirus situation) Enjoy the life you have left :)

Now that I've completed my main chemo treatments at Stanford & I have put the MM beast to sleep, I can continue to return to my kinda normal life again :) There will definitely be changes in my new lifestyle & I now see my life from a different point of view. I can now begin to count how many days/years of remission from MM Cancer & pray it doesn't come back anytime soon :/ <---- Remember, It's treatable not curable.

As I look back to the beginning of this nightmare, I don't regret that big sneeze that discovered it all, nor am I not upset that I acquired Multiple Myeloma being at Stage 3. I no longer question God why he chose me to receive this disease nor am I no longer angry at him. As I glance at my life back then & compare it to now, I realize the things that I really enjoy, stuff I really love to do & importance of self choices. I've learned plenty of lessons from my past relationship mishaps/mistakes & realize my misfortunes & timing. I used to hold back on things & wait. Then that opportunity would be long gone & my timing has missed its destiny point. I'm not scared anymore & my fears no longer exist. I'm ready to do what works best for me. After all, you have to love yourself first before you can move forward :)
This journey, truthfully with the help of you guys and the medications ;), really opened up my mind in many ways. Being isolated for over 1/2 a year taught me more of who I am & showed me what my mind & body is capable of and that I am a fuckin' Survivor!

I realize every thought & moment "I have" experienced is a brushstroke on the world "I see". Our life is basically "ART", a work in progress at that & it is only complete when we are gone. Interesting point of view, don't you think?
Well I do know for sure is, I wasn't born to fit in..I was born to Stand out!

To everyone: I Love you ALL for helping me through these rough times, your beautiful uplifting words, your tremendous support, checking in on me, your prayer warriors & for you ALL just being there for me in some sort of way! Thank you! Each & every one of you know who you are :)
I am forever grateful & humbled by EVERYONE'S concern and couldn't ask for a greater circle of friends & family! Also a big shout out to my co-workers, from my multiple jobs (Sening Engineering, V101.1 & the Office of State Publishing) for their continuous support on my entire situation & a HUGE Thank you to the Kaiser & Stanford University Cancer Center staff! You guys are really dedicated Super Humans!!!

This MIGHT be my last journal for a long minute as I will continue to heal more, along with my smaller treatments here in Sac. I am blessed to be able to share this entire experience with you guys. This blog was very therapeutic & it helped me alot, being able to vent out my feelings of frustrations & joyful moments. I also am so looking forward to seeing everyone's face in person someday! I really miss you ALL! #HugeHugs & #HappyTears

As Bob Marley would sing:
#OneLove #OneHeart
Let's get together & Feel alright!

Much Love,
Charlie "Baddest man on the planet" Ramos :)