June was my first round of tests to insure there was no evidence of cancer.  Oct/Nov my second round.  I am cancer free.  As I type this, I remember a wise piece of advice about cancer diagnoses:  "People will never be as nice to you as they are when you have cancer, and don't mess that up."   (Sarcasm there -- surely). Every and anyone that reads this - and all the amazing other people in my life -- I can only bow my head, fold my hands - and express the strongest gratitude my being has to you.

Last week I lost a friend to a five year battle with cancer.  For a brief time - we were on the same cancer infusion regiment -- sharing creative soups that help in the window of time immediately after the chemo cocktail.   This summer - neither of us in treatment - me cured; her in a holding pattern.  We went on great walks, took a mini hike -- two weeks ago she went into hospice -- and then went into a long sleep.  The same feeling that I had when I walked north out of Manhattan on 9/11 hit again.  I can't do anything -- I am not suppose to do anything -- I need to do something.

I still do not know what to do.  But yesterday I gave up an hour in my day to help two students ---- students that have no discipline, no want to be in school, no really want to do much but toss a ball into a net, sleep, and watch NBA commentaries on cellphones.  I was tired after both sessions -- and I have no idea if they learned anything.  Is this what I am suppose to do?

Onto our lives - COVID, societal division, frail elderly, winter, laugher, remote holidays, friendships.

I am here for you if and when you need me.