IDEAS: You all know Derek better than I do, but these things might be helpful;
-Derek starts his day late, so don't call early in the morning. :-)
-Text a reminder to say you're on your way, or that you've arrived and are coming up for your PRE-arranged visit.
-Maybe offer to pick up something on the way / ask if he needs anything... (There's a CVS near his house with parking).
-Please leave your shoes at the door!
-*** If you can coordinate visits with any of his MEAL times, he REALLY needs help with that right now, due to extreme weakness & pain. (3x/day for his nutritional shakes---these go through a tube). He can't afford to lose more weight, but doesn't have much appetite, (though he can eat via mouth, as well).
-offer little tasks like doing any dishes in the sink, consolidating the trash cans & recycling, (or taking it out), warming up his heating pad in the microwave for him, loosening water-bottle caps, asking about helping with any self-care, communications, picking up prescriptions... are all appreciated.
If you aren't used to, or comfortable with people who are ill or in pain, or feel at a loss as of what to say, just remember:
- He's so happy and thankful you came!
-don't be afraid to ask what he most needs... you can't read his mind, and he might not feel comfortable bringing it up, or may not be thinking of it at the moment, or may feel like he'd be imposing by asking for help first.
- you don't need to feel like you must entertain him, and he certainly can't "host" you... just BEING THERE, and/or OFFERING TO HELP with whatever he needs, means the world!
-Send a card now and then, or a text, or give him a call if you aren't able to visit. It's always nice to know you're being thought of :-)
-Derek starts his day late, so don't call early in the morning. :-)
-Text a reminder to say you're on your way, or that you've arrived and are coming up for your PRE-arranged visit.
-Maybe offer to pick up something on the way / ask if he needs anything... (There's a CVS near his house with parking).
-Please leave your shoes at the door!
-*** If you can coordinate visits with any of his MEAL times, he REALLY needs help with that right now, due to extreme weakness & pain. (3x/day for his nutritional shakes---these go through a tube). He can't afford to lose more weight, but doesn't have much appetite, (though he can eat via mouth, as well).
-offer little tasks like doing any dishes in the sink, consolidating the trash cans & recycling, (or taking it out), warming up his heating pad in the microwave for him, loosening water-bottle caps, asking about helping with any self-care, communications, picking up prescriptions... are all appreciated.
If you aren't used to, or comfortable with people who are ill or in pain, or feel at a loss as of what to say, just remember:
- He's so happy and thankful you came!
-don't be afraid to ask what he most needs... you can't read his mind, and he might not feel comfortable bringing it up, or may not be thinking of it at the moment, or may feel like he'd be imposing by asking for help first.
- you don't need to feel like you must entertain him, and he certainly can't "host" you... just BEING THERE, and/or OFFERING TO HELP with whatever he needs, means the world!
-Send a card now and then, or a text, or give him a call if you aren't able to visit. It's always nice to know you're being thought of :-)