Journal entry by Debby Larimer

It has been over a week of working on recovering and getting strength back. My chest is still quite sore and the coughing continues, along with head and facial pain. It is a challenge but the fever is done, and my glands are improving. It is over a week later and the latest on my test results for Covid19 are pending. They needed to send it to a different lab. I called this morning and my doctor will get back to me.  My main concern has been my ribs and the discomfort of coughing. When I tried to do a bit more over the weekend to strengthen, I ended up with great restriction with my breathing and it took time for me to get air moving in a comfortable way. It is scary when you can not breath. I am using my bipap, breathing treatments and inhalers to try to help with wheezing, weakness and tight breathing. 
Our home is no different than yours.  We are physical distancing here, but still trying to be social in creative ways. No one is working in the house so we are all home together.  There have been blocks of time that my attendant care is unavailable so it has been a great help to know I’m not in this home alone. We are helping one another in the ways that we can. Emily has been busy filling in the gaps during these gaps. 
All of our appointments, tests or procedures have been rescheduled for months away. 
Geoff was tested last Monday for this virus and his results came much sooner as not detectable so that is good news and I hope this fact lessens my chances.
I’m trying not to decondition, yet I can’t compromise my breathing.  
Jennifer’s dental surgery is postponed for two more months. Fortunately she does not have pain currently.
Brittany is reading a lot and we all have been on social media quite a bit. We are thinking about breaking out one of her puzzles. 
We are being creative with our meals.  I’m glad our cabinets were recently reorganized. We have had some friends that do not come in, but drop off some of the supplies we have needed. Everyone is trying to scot out toilet paper and paper towels when we get low. I’m so grateful for these dear friends in this community. Other than that we are inside. The support staff that work with a few of my family have held their sessions or meetings with me over the phone or computer.
Over the years I learned how to carefully make decisions on how to conserve energy, how to weigh the risk with certain outings because of how much strength and energy it takes from me. I also have a weak immune system and some medications weakened it more. So quarantine does not feel as new to me.
During this time where the entire country, the whole world is working to limit the spread of this virus’,. It’s not easy for me to just say, “You need unwavering faith in God” , but this is right where our focus needs to become. We can bear our burdens with others and trust that God is able to quell the storm. It also doesn’t mean that we won’t feel the pain or hardships. God knows every fear or anxious need and when we acknowledge this to God, He is there to comfort and guide us onward.  He is holding onto us and we need to hold on to Him. 
Psalms 118:8 "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man"
We are all crying out in our time of need. I see how God matures each of us as we go through times like this with the help of His Spirit moving in and through us. 
We do not need to turn the world crisis into a personal crisis of Faith. Change is hard but when I remember that ..”Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever” Hebrews 13:8, it helps me to sense His sovereignty over all.  He is constant, the same, and this can be a comfort to know He doesn’t change even when our world is.  Malachi 3:6  “I the Lord do not change....”
Deut 31:6 tells me about my need for strength and courage....”Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them (this health crisis) for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  
Thank you for your friendship, phone calls, messages, or connection on social media.  
Praying for all of our circumstances
Good night.

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