Journal entry by Emma Duncan —
Over the last few weeks we have made the most of our "freedom" in quarantine. Many home cooked meals have been made. Dance parties, naps, family walks, reading time and art project have become almost daily routines for the three of us.
Our free time however is coming to an end. Tomorrow I return to work and I am anxious. Honestly, how can anyone go right back to "normal life" after going through a fight with cancer? The last nine months have reminded me that life is too short. A lot of internal reflection has helped me face the truth that my own dreams and ambitions have been ignored. It also has reminded me that my family looses out when I am working. They tend to get the "leftover me" at the end of the day. The tired zombie me!
Although I am thankful that I can work from the safety of my home - especially with so many loosing their jobs right now - there is a part of me that asks, "Do I really have to return to work?". The answer is, YES. Like most couples, we need to be a two person income to make ends meet. So for now I take a deep breath and prepare to go through 500+ emails in the morning.
Is it even possible to juggle an active toddler while we both work from home? We will find out. Dari has become very familiar with always having access to me. I worry that when I do sit down to work it will be frustratingly impossible.
The whole 8am-5pm also worries me. As we sleep train Dariush, his schedule is quite regimented. He wakes at 6am, dinner at 6pm (he lets us know if we are running late), bedtime routine starts at 7pm and asleep by 8pm. That means that I will be up with him at 6am, start work by 8am and as soon as I am off I will be cooking, feeding, and prepping for bedtime. My days will not have room for any error or personal time. This really concerns me. Self care and Family should be the most important thing in my life. I hope that I don't loose sight of that but somehow find time to relax with Nima, embrace my ambitions and dream without closing your eyes to sleep, and maybe even sneak in a walk or shower. :-S
If you think of us tomorrow, please pray for God's mercy!
Our free time however is coming to an end. Tomorrow I return to work and I am anxious. Honestly, how can anyone go right back to "normal life" after going through a fight with cancer? The last nine months have reminded me that life is too short. A lot of internal reflection has helped me face the truth that my own dreams and ambitions have been ignored. It also has reminded me that my family looses out when I am working. They tend to get the "leftover me" at the end of the day. The tired zombie me!
Although I am thankful that I can work from the safety of my home - especially with so many loosing their jobs right now - there is a part of me that asks, "Do I really have to return to work?". The answer is, YES. Like most couples, we need to be a two person income to make ends meet. So for now I take a deep breath and prepare to go through 500+ emails in the morning.
Is it even possible to juggle an active toddler while we both work from home? We will find out. Dari has become very familiar with always having access to me. I worry that when I do sit down to work it will be frustratingly impossible.
The whole 8am-5pm also worries me. As we sleep train Dariush, his schedule is quite regimented. He wakes at 6am, dinner at 6pm (he lets us know if we are running late), bedtime routine starts at 7pm and asleep by 8pm. That means that I will be up with him at 6am, start work by 8am and as soon as I am off I will be cooking, feeding, and prepping for bedtime. My days will not have room for any error or personal time. This really concerns me. Self care and Family should be the most important thing in my life. I hope that I don't loose sight of that but somehow find time to relax with Nima, embrace my ambitions and dream without closing your eyes to sleep, and maybe even sneak in a walk or shower. :-S
If you think of us tomorrow, please pray for God's mercy!
Patients and caregivers love hearing from you; add a comment to show your support.
Help Dariush Stay Connected to Family and Friends
A $25 donation to CaringBridge powers a site like Dariush's for two weeks. Will you make a gift to help ensure that this site stays online for them and for you?
Invite friends and family to visit the site
