Julie Bunczak|Dec 11, 2018
Kristy, this is so well-put. Like everyone, I wish I had some words to help. Je souhaite que nous pouvions avoir un peu de conversation française, même si seulement pour te distraire pour une seule minute. Gros, gros bisous!
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Irene Sullivan|Dec 10, 2018
This is Irene - Bus Aide (PARA) for Lauren and Tytus on school bus route 151. My heart breaks for you and your family. If you ever need to vent I'm here. My love and prayers go out to you and your family. It gets easier. *Hugs*
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James Edwin Jones|Dec 9, 2018
Kristy,

We never met but we’re both connected to the Sterken/Curtis family. Dan’s biological Grandma Sterken was a sister to my late father-in-law, Ted Curtis. I was married to Ted and Carol Curtis’ daughter, Rebecca. She died suddenly June 1, 2004 at age 37 of a brain aneurysm, leaving me to raise our two children, then ages 6 and 8 on my own.

Reading your post in relation to Christmas, in many ways was verbatim those of my first Christmas letter sent in 2004.

There’s a “new normal” but it was all too skewed with sadness, loss and grief in my experience. How does one breathe, let alone move in this shift in life no one foresaw!? How do you navigate in unfamiliar waters? How do you go from a forever promise to having one half of the bond now absent?

There’s no rigid answer to any of this. Anyone who tells you there is hasn’t experienced this type of loss or perhaps never experienced a loss as deep.

Even my feeble attempt here shouldn’t be seen as a guide to follow. You’re on such a solitary journey and something only you can figure out. Each love is unique and each loss has its own dynamics that can only be tailor made to fit your own unique circumstances and family make up.

Many trite things can be said by many that might or might not help. People mean well, and I include myself in this, sometimes we speak without thinking things through to how it’s expressed by others to those with whom you’re speaking. I found the truth of scripture was used and even that sometimes helped but sometimes just didn’t quite reach where I was and I couldn’t relate. We can sometimes be so far in grief that only certain truths can make their way through to our broken hearts.

God really is “near the broken hearted” as the Bible says. Sometimes we’re so caught in the grief of our loss it’s hard to feel His presence or peace due to the day in day out circumstances of life after tragic loss.

Be good to yourself and your children and attuned to ALL your needs. I know we as parents fully focus on the well-being of our children as we should, but you’re no good to them if you don’t focus at least in part on YOU!

It’s all so overwhelming. Give yourself the space, in as much as you can, to walk through the valley. Keep “walking through”, but in as much as you can muster the strength God gives you to work on yourself and you as a family.

You can sometimes feel so all alone in this endeavor to make sure you’re all doing okay or are working through your loss of Dan and dad. My prayer is you already have or will have those who surround you through this transition. The overwhelming feeling is compounded as there’s always transitions as children grow, change, develop, are recognized for something at school or church and the empty feeling of not having shared that with Dan will come to mind.

It was hard for me to determine just “how well” I was doing in my grief as I didn’t know by what mechanism that sort of assessment could be made.

This is a journey. Each individual’s journey has its own pace. As much a surprise this sad loss has totally changed the life you knew and hoped for, know there are NO surprises with God. He sees and knows all, even as hard it is for us to figure out “why”.

I found it, in part, comforting to know, as sad the situation, that the same God who was watching out for me and my children on this side of eternity is the same God who’s watching out for Becky on her side. Perhaps this could give you a visual in relation to you, your children and Dan/dad. God bridges both sides of eternity. Dan was a part of your past. In his passing into eternity, he is now a part of your future.
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Rich & Barb Dix|Dec 9, 2018 (edited)
Dear Kristy and Family,
Your deep FAITH in Christ our Savior is such an encouragement . “You are strong and very courageous for the LORD our GOD is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
We continue to love you and pray for each one. Praising JESUS for your Faithfulness in serving Him!
“When the witness is faithful,
the gospel triumphs.”
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Judy Wheeler|Dec 8, 2018
Oh, Kristy—I’m so glad you so honestly shared your feelings in such agonizing conditions. I can pray more specifically now. My heart breaks but the love flows.
I am sure it helps to just let it all out in the open. God knows your heart and will answer your call.
Love,
Judy and Al
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Debbie Jones Warren|Dec 8, 2018
Your vulnerable comment set me straight to crying. Thank you for being open with us. You've shown me just how much a simple text to a hurting friend can mean. I'm praying for you. xoxo Debbie (childhood friend of Carol's from Nigeria)
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Lynn Hoyt|Dec 8, 2018
Our prayers continue for you and the children. The new "normal" is not easy and we pray the Lord's strength and comfort for each day. Read again the old hymn, "Trust and Obey" and may the trues there encourage your heart.
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LeRoy & Jan Miller|Dec 8, 2018
Dear Kristy and Family; we love you and continue keeping you all in prayer. You will never be the same without your true love and the father of your children; but I know God has a Blessed future for you all. May friends continue to surround you with love and support and may God's Holy Spirit give you His strength and peace when you have none. LeRoy and Jan
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Roxanne Wilson|Dec 8, 2018
Thank you for your honesty and update. I actually came to this site today to see if you would periodically update on how things were going. I can only imagine your pain but it is far from the reality you feel. I continue to pray for your family as you walk this road. I pray for health, healing, and blessings along the way. As you approach Christmas, I am praying for the peace of God to surround you all in ways that you can feel God's presence and love deeply---without even looking for it. <3
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David Stay|Dec 8, 2018
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
‭‭Lamentations‬ ‭3:22-23‬ ‭ESV‬‬
http://bible.com/59/lam.3.22-23.esv

That is your testimony Kristy and family. Love, Stays 🙏✝️
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