I have never been on my own in my entire life. I went from my mother, who, as a single parent, required a lot of me to Daniel...right out of high school. So navigating this new season of my life is quite a new experience. Learning how much it takes just to maintain the house is an eye-opener. How many light bulbs can possibly burn out one right after another? Six so far, in less than three months. And two more are flickering. I have 11-foot ceilings! Changing a bulb is not an easy task. And three long under-the-counter balasts are history, so something has to replace those lights. 

The hot water tank (50-gal) in the master bath closet has to be replaced, unless I can get used to cold showers, which I am not inclined to do. And Nathan, my dear son-in-love, has worked hard with needle and nylon thread, to repair a torn seam in the canvas awning on the lanai. He has power-washed the house and the lanai and touched up some paint that needed to be done after the power-washing. Seems it is always something and I never thought much about things like that because Daniel always took care of those repairs. 

How often, these days, do I think I was a "kept woman"! However, as much as I have thought I don't have the skills or the knowledge to do something, I am finding I do. Or I know someone who does. And my family comes to the rescue often. Like on Wednesday morning when I was in the shower and the entire house power shut down. My first thought was, did we remember to pay Florida Power and Light? I say we because Ashley has been setting most of my regular bills to be recurring payments so I don't have to think about them. But my initial response to the sudden power outage was that we might have missed that payment. That triggered memories of the past when we were struggling for years to pay off debt and get on our feet, worrying month-to-month that we might get the electricity turned off...which did happen several times. It unnerved me. I checked online and it was paid, praise God. So I went to the garage and checked the fuse box. Not that I know much about a fuse box. The main breaker had flipped (probably due to the leak in the aforementioned water heater) and I couldn't, for the life of me, get it to go back on. I was afraid I would break it by pushing so hard. So, of course I called Nathan. He and the family were here within the hour and he quickly flipped that switch and all was well. He did agree it was extremely hard to push back on, so I didn't appear a weakling. He's a good guy. A very good guy. 

So, here I am in my mid-70's trying to learn how to be a grown-up. And there are days I want to have a temper-tantrum like a baby and scream that I don't want to do this. But I must. And I can. I'm learning I have more inside me than I think I do...which is what advocate to others. I am now getting a good dose of my own words.