Journal entry by Corrine O'Day Hanan

I'm having a little trouble keeping up!  Tina and I got home from Rochester Friday night, and I have essentially been a vegetable since.  Well, a lot of the time.  Saturday I didn't do anything except sleep late and take it easy.  Sunday and Monday were both good days; I got lots of stuff cleaned and organized.  Must have overdone it, though, because today I haven't felt good all day.

I finished my steroids yesterday, and have five more days of the antibiotic to take.  Last night, my first night after I finished the steroids, I just coughed and coughed and coughed.  (So I didn't sleep well.)  All day it's cough, cough, cough.  I don't like steroids, (1) because of their impact on my diabetes, and (2) because of the associated weight gain, so I really don't want to keep taking them.  However, I'll finish the antibiotics and check in with Dr. Shah to see where he stands on the issue.

Yesterday's Bible study was very comforting to me, and it stayed with me all day today as well.  I was reading in the Book of John, where Jesus was explaining about living in the light.  Sometimes when I read the Word, life feels so simple--when I'm not reading the Word, life gets confusing pretty quickly.

Tonight I helped the two little kiddos finish their Valentine's boxes.  Kyan did a Naruto theme, and Maggie did Minecraft.  It was interesting watching them, because they both had very clear ideas of what they wanted.  All I did was help cut the construction paper to fit and tape the overall product for protection.  I already bought the Valentine's candy for their respective parties, but tomorrow we need to stuff all the bags.  :)  Kyan brought home a list of things his class needs for its party, and his idea was that I would buy EVERYTHING on the list.  Hahahahaha.  He's very worried that, if I don't, his class won't have enough.  He's so sweet.  Hopefully I reassured him that other parents will be contributing as well.

I was so looking forward to Celebrate Recovery tonight, but I was so puny I didn't even try.  I thought if I took a power nap I could push through, but even the power nap didn't help much.  I already told the kids Mommy was probably going to need lots of help in the morning to get them off to school.  I'll sleep in a bit, then start my day.  I have to go into Tulsa for lab work, to see where I am this week.  I'm not particularly interested in my labs this week, believe it or not.  Since they've started trending up, and I'm out of the danger zone, at least as far as platelets and neutrophils go, I'm good.  Usually I can't wait to see the new numbers; this week I'm all, "whatever it is, it is."  Dr. Shah told me not to get entrenched into the notion that I won't need to return until March 5th (my current new date), so that I'm not upset if he decides to pull me back in early to finish the workup (which of course depends on my labs).  I'm kind of in a place of acceptance, knowing I can't actually control what my blood work is doing, so I may as well go on about the joy of living my life.

Tomorrow Jeanne's coming over to do Valentines with the kids.  She and Rick are not getting kids over the weekend since they have to travel to Ft. Smith and take care of Rick's mom this weekend.  They didn't get to come last weekend because of the weather, so she picked tomorrow to spend some time with them.  I hope these children realize how blessed they are to have her in their lives.  I know I do.

So, I'm closing for tonight.  I am clearly recognizing what an effort journaling every day is.  I haven't met my goal, but I'm tracking pretty well.  Usually if I don't journal, it's because I don't feel well, so I may have to write sometimes earlier in the day.  I hope God's peace and light surrounds you this evening.  In Jesus' name, AMEN.
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