Read the "sign of the fleece" in Judges 6:36-40. You are not the first to question things and will not be the last. Even Moses had doubts, at first. None of us knows what God's plan is. It is enough to know He has one.

Amen.....Praise God.....
Get ready to do it all....sew, read, play the piano, color, write that book and make us one of those Christmas cards.
Rest up....do as your told and keep your beautiful glorious attitude.
Love and prayers coming your way.