So here we are; a chemo plan in place, a (shaky and nervous) grip on what is going on, and a huge, long journey ahead of us. Mom is still somewhat in a daze. She doesn't have her 'fight' attitude yet. That's where I feel strong though. My 'fight' attitude is raring to go, and I'm fighting for her. 

I feel like David walking up to Goliath with the confidence in my faith, but knowing that it will not be as easy as throwing a rock from a sling to beat this cancer. A part of me is scared. My worries right now are: is Mom going to be able to eat soon? How long will it take for her to want to eat again? When is she going to start getting up and fighting?  The chemo that Mom is going to have is pretty rigorous. Pancreatic cancer is one of the hardest to treat, so it makes sense that chemo will be tough for her. 

Mom's first appointment is next Monday, which I haven't put on the task calendar because I will probably be with her the whole day. I've got to be strong for her, which I feel I am. I just wish she could feel strong for herself. It's not that she's giving up, but it seems like she's not up for the fight. 

The point of me telling the world this, is I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who can show her she can do this. I can't convince her to be strong myself. 

Here we go...