We miss you so much!  I can barely believe that it will be a year tomorrow that we said our goodbyes to you.  I'm at a loss for words and there is this aching in my heart that just won't go away.  Life is hard, unfair and full of disappointment but somehow we keep putting one foot in front of another.  Deep inside we suffer alone and learn to think that we just don't deserve any better...

I can't catch my breathe, I can't stop this ache in my heart; I still can't believe this is real.  I question everything, every single day of my life.  Am I a good Mom? Am I a good wife? Am I a good daughter?? I walk the same road day in and day out just hoping that it will get easier...and I know I'm not alone!

There comes a time in life where you just have to let go.  That time came when I met you! For years I wished for a life of pure happiness for my Mom.  A life where she knew she was enough. She is the strongest woman I know but so many things changed when she met you. She could feel the love you had for her with each and every smile. She deserved the kind of unconditional love that we all long for; I thank God every day that you walked into her world and did just that.  You loved everything about her and for but a moment she felt the kind of love most people only dream of.  

I'm sure you both thought you were the lucky one, but it turns out that was me. I stopped questioning if she knew how strong she was or if she had ever felt the magic in just holding someones hand.  You changed that and I am forever in your debt!  I keep asking myself why something so wonderful could walk into her world and change her life as she knew it and then it hit me, that is exactly what she also did for you. 

I wasn't a part of some of the happiest days in her life but I wouldn't change it for anything!  The gut wrenching feeling you get when your Mom's world is turned upside down.  It happened so fast and there are days when I feel like I missed out on the best part of her, which was you!  I will never forget what you did for her.  It may have only been 4 short years but they were packed with a lifetime of happiness!  A happiness that you both deserved...life will go on but nothing will EVER take the place of you!  Your trust in God was living proof that if you lay down all of your worries, if only for a short time, you can find the kind of love that is pure and in that moment you get to experience complete content and happiness.  It was at that moment, in my life, when I stopped asking God why and started thanking him for the opportunities that change us forever!!

Dear Lord, I take this moment of silence to thank you for gracing our lives with such an amazing man who gave himself so freely, without fail, without question and for no reason at all. There is not a single doubt in my mind that he touched every person he came in contact with. He had a way of making it sound so simple to just trust in the Lord. Thank you for putting him in our path and for making my Mom the happiest I've ever seen her!  

Love,

Crystal